The Global Leadership League In the Vault

Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 23:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I've got a new work/job opportunity. I'm keen to take this on and very excited about the opportunity, but worried about how to tell my manager, repercussions for the team, feeling guilty about what's to come. How can I work through these feelings and create a constructive plan for the conversations/handing in my resignation.

Sincerely,

Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions

Dear Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions,

Congratulations on the new opportunity!! What wonderful news! Let’s take a minute to stay with these positive feelings of accomplishment and excitement for what’s to come. You’re a rockstar and we want to revel in this for a bit.

Now, unfortunately, with such news, in addition to the excitement, we tend to have anxiety, guilt, grief, and so many more feelings as well. Let’s think about what we can practically do to work through some of these.

First step: giving your resignation. This is a nerve-racking experience but, remember, dealing with situations like these is a part of your supervisor’s job description and you know your supervisor! You have likely had difficult conversations with them in the past and now you can use that awareness for yourself in this situation. Now, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your supervisor. If it’s a good one, as long as you are respectful and professional about the way in which you do this, you hopefully won’t have any issues. My recommendation would be to set up time to connect with your manager in person. Don’t break the news over email or informally in passing unless you absolutely have to. When you tell them, be sure to express your gratitude for the support they’ve provided and the years you’ve worked with them. Explain that you’ve taken another position, discuss when your planned last day will be, that you will do everything you can to support them during your remaining time at the organization, and wrap with asking what steps you need to take in terms of HR. Be ready for a negotiation and questions. For example, they may ask why you’re leaving, for flexibility on your end date, or see if there is anything they can do to get you to stay like increase your salary, etc. They may not ask you anything, but be prepared either way. After a conversation like this, you will need to give official written notice to your supervisor and HR so everything is in writing. If you’re unsure what to say in your official resignation letter, there are many templates online that can help with that piece.

If you have a bad relationship with your supervisor, I would still follow the steps above, but if you are fearful of retaliation or other consequences, you can request HR to be in the room with you as well. Or perhaps you go directly to HR first, depending on how dire the situation really is and let them support you with giving official notice and working with your supervisor through this. Hopefully it doesn’t have to come to this but if it does, you have support.

Second step: processing your feelings. The fact that you are feeling guilty and thinking about potential repercussions for the team tells me that you’re a good person. These are important feelings to acknowledge and perhaps even express to your team if you feel the need to do so. However, it is also important to acknowledge that the team will no longer be your responsibility after your last day. Your supervisor will have to step in to support. While this may sound harsh, you have to remember that your company could fire you tomorrow and leave your team in the same situation. Your team did fine before you arrived and they will do fine after you leave. Focus on finding ways to support them while they transition to looking for your replacement. For example, create a handbook or guidelines for the work that you did (hopefully some form of standard operating procedures already exist!) so someone can step into your role and know where things are and how they were done. Walk an existing team member through where all of your files are kept and how to navigate the work that you did. Set things up for your team. After that, you don’t need to worry about this job because you’ll have a whole other job to learn and team to support. Yes, you may feel grief and loss, and continue to feel guilt, but as long as you know that you left your team with the tools they need, you did your best and you can hopefully move on in peace.

Now go and celebrate the adventures to come!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Tackling Gender Bias

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 19:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have a couple of female team members who never question decisions of males in our organization, but always question my (female) decisions. It wouldn't be productive to just say "I see bias showing up", so what can I say or do that may help others see where bias is showing up? And, how can I check myself on how I'm responding to female colleagues myself? We should be supporting each other and helping each other with growth, but how to do that when it comes to bias?

Sincerely,

Ready to Tackle Bias

Dear Ready to Tackle Bias,

It’s great that you are paying attention to bias, both in others and yourself. Willingness to learn and grow is the first step to reducing bias in the workplace and elsewhere. This sounds like a great opportunity for an office-wide training!

Calling out bias when you see it is an important step, but can be uncomfortable and may not be well-received. I’d recommend bringing up the idea of a bias training program in your next staff meeting. You could say something like this: “I have been learning about gender bias and implicit bias and think it would be great if we all did a training! It’s important to me to improve in this area, and I think it could benefit all of us if we did it.” Then you can suggest a few options. There are many resources out there, both free and paid. Here are a few good free options that I like:

NIH Implicit Bias Training
Lean In 50 Ways to Fight Bias
WorkLife Law’s Gender Bias Learning Project (focus on faculty and academia)

These can be completed individually, but there are options to work through topics as groups, or hold a facilitated group session depending on what works for your office.

Once you and your colleagues have completed a training (or two), you will have the tools to both recognize bias and know how best to call it out when you see it.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Ready to Tackle Bias? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Worn Out by Over and Over

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 18:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I'm exhausted from always having to respond over and over to questions about decisions. I consult with others, including my team members, about matters before making decisions, when relevant. There are too many decisions to make to have consensus decision-making for every single decision so I use a mixture of consensus, consultative, and, rarely, authoritative decision-making. I spend a ridiculous amount of time responding to requests for clarity and additional information or just directly asking the same question over and over (by email, then by Slack, then in a virtual meeting 1x1, then in a virtual meeting with others)....I am happy to respond and help with understanding about a decision once, but not repeatedly and not for every single decision. Some decisions are just not important enough to merit the amount of time spent on them. How do I stop my team members from questioning all decisions?

Sincerely,

Worn Out by Over and Over

Dear Worn Out by Over and Over,

Balance is so tricky, isn't it? On the one hand, we’ve made great progress in the workforce from the days when a manager made a decision, and everyone had to accept it with no questions asked. The dictatorship model has fortunately become less and less acceptable (though it definitely still exists). On the other hand, there seems to be a growing sense of entitlement among staff members that everyone should have a voice in all decision-making. Clearly these are extremes but finding the right balance in the workplace is a real challenge, as you’ve stated. Being a leader is hard for this reason, among many others. We all want to work somewhere that values the input of the team. But the success of any company is also contingent on tough decisions being made at all levels everyday that not everyone can weigh in on. This is true in all facets of life.

Which brings me to your current dilemma. You seem to have gone above and beyond in responding to questions about decisions that have been made. Your communication is obviously wide open and you’re taking the time (a ridiculous amount, you say) to address concerns and inquiries. And you’re consulting wherever you can for input before decisions are made. On paper you’re doing everything right. But since you’ve come to me for help, I’ll be brutally honest. I think you’re doing too much of all of it. While you may be very confident in your decisions, there may be something in your style that doesn’t portray that confidence and your team is taking advantage of that. You’ve opened the door to questioning everything and responded by giving them even more attention on these matters. This is a case where some tough love is in order. I understand you don’t want to be authoritative, but you are in charge and they need to respect that you actually know what you’re doing and have everyone’s best interests at heart.

It also sounds like in many ways, your team just isn’t listening well. They’ve gotten so used to being able to ask you over and over again about what decision was made and why, they don’t listen on the first round. Old habits die hard and unfortunately in your efforts to be kind and fair, you’ve given them a runway to be inefficient and insecure.

So here’s my suggestion: Gather them together and ask them to trust you. Tell them that there seems to be a lot of questioning and re-clarification needed on decisions large and small and it’s becoming a drain on your resources and theirs. And while you value each and every one of them and always want them to question things they feel strongly about, you need them to be discerning in terms of what is significant and what is not, and trust that you are making decisions in the best possible way. Tell them that you will still often ask for input but there may be times you can’t and won’t. It’s not personal. And then reiterate how much you value their work and how much you appreciate that they support you and trust you.

Bottom line, they need to know that things are going to change. And when you get that first question about something insignificant, you just refer the person back to your meeting. As you well know, your job as a leader is not to be liked by everyone, it’s to lead with grace, fairness, and competence. They might not like this new direction but they will respect you for reining it in and communicating clearly.

You’ve got this!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Worn Out by Over and Over? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 16:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

The amount and pace of change is challenging for all to manage. As a leader, I try to support the organization with change efforts, but I struggle with myself with all the changes, and I have a team that I want to support with navigating incessant change. How can I balance supporting all three of those? Does one take priority over the others? I want to convey support for the organization while also listening and asking how I can support my team, but I don't want to come across as oblivious to how hard it is, as just 'toeing the party line'. Help!

Sincerely,

About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope

Dear About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope,

At the risk of repeating what we’ve all heard since childhood, change is hard. But I also firmly believe that change can be really good. Yet still, even things that are good can sometimes be really hard. So now that I’ve stated the obvious, let’s delve in. You’ve got three buckets that need to be kept full but you only have two arms (at best) to carry those buckets. Dropping one is an option but then which one do you set down? You rightly ask, which one takes priority?

The simple answer is that you take priority. Just like putting your oxygen mask on before helping others on the airplane, you can’t help anyone unless you can breathe. If you’re not feeling balanced, strong, and open to the changes that are happening, you can’t possibly help your team and you can’t support the organization. You care for yourself so that you can care for others. So even if you don’t understand all the changes happening in your company and even if you can’t see where it’s all headed, you can take steps to mentally handle change in whatever form it takes. There are tons of great resources out there on managing change in your own life, so I encourage you to take the time to get comfortable with it and find strength there.

Once you start to feel the weight of your own bucket lightening, you’ll be amazed at how much that affects your team members and your attitude towards the organization. The next step is to create spaces for open and regular communication with your team. Be honest with them about your own struggles but set a positive tone and be forthright in identifying the good aspects of all this upheaval. As with most things in life, it’s all perception and how you view the situation. Change management is about navigating expectations and communicating clearly and empathetically and more often than you think you need to, so give your team this time and space.

And finally, don’t feel pressured to buy into everything your organization is changing. You can still support the work they do and your role in that work, without agreeing with everything. Be strategic in determining what is just a by-product of change that will eventually settle out and be fine, and what may be more significant decisions and directions that you need to push up against. Then articulate those clearly and share them with management, not in an aggressive or threatening way, but as helpful suggestions. Remember, they are navigating change too and they may not be seeing all the angles. Approach it from a place of helpful support to the overall goal, instead of a frustrating roadblock to your success.

Most of all, congratulations on caring enough to take this on. I promise that if you care for yourself and develop your own tools for managing change, the rest will unfold in ways you never imagined.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

My Name is Not Hard to Pronounce

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 18:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I am a person of color working in a predominantly white workplace. My name is something that tends to be unfamiliar for people outside of my community but it is not difficult to pronounce. I have one particular coworker who consistently butchers it and has even begun to call me by a nickname that I do not appreciate. I've tried correcting him and he just laughs it off. How do I get him to respect me, my name, and my culture?

Sincerely,

Say My Name!

Dear Say My Name!,

Thank you for bringing up this very important topic. Your name is part of your identity and culture, and anyone who refuses to say it correctly is being disrespectful and racist. While you shouldn’t have to put in the extra work for what is his problem, here are some things you can try to get your colleague to say your name:

1. Be firm. If he laughs it off when you correct him, tell him you do not find it funny or appreciate that he won’t say your name. State explicitly what your preferred name is, and that you will not respond to a nickname.

2. Try humor. If you prefer to try humor in return or think it may resonate more, you could try giving your colleague an unwanted nickname. If he says “but my name isn’t hard to pronounce,” you could respond with, “neither is mine!” If he doesn’t appreciate the nickname, maybe he’ll realize you don’t appreciate yours, either.

3. Ask other colleagues to help back you up. Do you have colleagues in the office who do pronounce your name correctly? Let them know you’d appreciate their help in calling out the offending colleague and repeating your name correctly.

4. Try adding a phonetic pronunciation to your email signature. Again, you shouldn’t have to do this, but it may make it clearer to others that you are serious about using your given name and having it pronounced correctly. This could help reinforce your name for present and future colleagues. You could also add a line in your signature that links to YouTube or another site that can play a sound clip of your name. If your colleague is actually struggling to pronounce your name (and not just being a jerk), maybe he will listen to it and actually get it down.

Unfortunately, this person may never really respect you. It’s not OK, but you also shouldn’t devote too much more of your precious time and energy to this cause. Try your best, make it clear for him and other colleagues, then let it go. Let this be a reminder to all of us to respect others’ names and say them, no matter how difficult they are to pronounce!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Say My Name? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Drinks and Sexual Harassment

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 20:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work in a role that requires me to engage with a lot of external partners. I was recently visiting a partner and, while grabbing after work drinks, he began to make very inappropriate comments about my appearance. I laughed it off and attempted to change the subject. That worked for a bit but he kept coming back to the way I looked and other very lewd comments. I finally made up an excuse and called it a night but I don't know what to do now. He's an important partner but I don't want to be in a situation where I'm ever alone with him again. I'm also fairly new to this role and don't want my manager thinking I can't do my job. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Laughing it Off Isn't Working

Dear Laughing it Off Isn't Working,

Let me begin by saying I am so sorry that you had to experience this. This sort of behavior is, unfortunately, much more common than most people in fields like higher/international education would like to admit. The number of times I have spoken to colleagues who have been in the EXACT same situation as you is appalling. And then for you to be the one worrying about your job and your competency…ridiculous! I am so sorry!

Now, there are a couple of layers here. Let’s start with how you’re feeling. Many times in situations like these, the victim feels inadequate or guilty, like it was their fault, like they led the perpetrator on. Why did you laugh it off? Why didn’t you just walk away or tell him it was inappropriate right then and there? Why did you agree to drinks in the first place? There are a million “what if” or “why” questions we play through our minds over and over again. If this is you, I am going to tell you to STOP right now. NONE OF THIS is on you. You did what you needed to in that situation with not only your safety in mind, but with the extra pressure of potentially losing an important partner in the beginning of a new role. Let me repeat that. You did what you needed to. If you are having these thoughts, I hope you have taken the time to speak to friends or family, perhaps a therapist, someone that can help you process the feelings that you are having - this is going to be an important step in moving forward. If you’re not having these thoughts, and are doing fine, then great.

The second step is going to be to think through what you want to do. You mentioned not wanting to be alone with this man again. Does that mean you’re okay continuing to work with him as long as that condition is met? Or do you want to be taken off of this account? This is where your personal comfort and your career ambitions may come head to head. Perhaps being on this account is really important for your career or maybe it isn’t and you can find another account with a much more professional partner. In these kinds of situations, many of us will, unfortunately, put aside our personal discomforts for the job. While I wouldn’t recommend that per say, I also don’t know what the situation is for you at this job so this will be a decision you will need to make or at least consider before speaking to a supervisor. There is no wrong decision here as long as you are doing what’s best for you. One thing I will say is no job is worth your personal safety.

Once you’ve thought through what you would ideally like to do, it will be important to speak to your supervisor. Any half decent supervisor is going to be more than understanding of this situation and ask how they can support you. This is where you can lay out what you would like to see happen or ask your supervisor for guidance around what the options are and what the potential impacts are to you. Your supervisor should be able to give you insights to make a more informed decision and provide you with the necessary resources.

Unfortunately, we also live in a world in which the company’s bottom line is sometimes worth more than an individual and their safety. In this case, you may have to make a tough decision about where the line is for you and whether you want to go to HR or even continue to work for an organization whose values and priorities don’t align with yours. I hope it won’t come to this, but if it does, then like you did in the situation initially, do what you need to in order to take care of yourself. Be loyal to yourself!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Laughing it Off Isn't Working? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Tired of Infighting

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 15:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work on a team that has two team leads. One lead is a bit of a bulldozer and the other avoids confrontation and both are rarely on the same page so the team is constantly getting conflicting messages. I've had to go past both of them to senior leadership a couple of times to resolve issues but the situation isn't getting better. I don't know what to do. Help!

Sincerely,

Tired of Infighting

Dear Tired of Infighting,

This is a perfect opportunity for you to practice the art of negotiation. And it really is an art. But don’t be afraid, you can and should do it. I’ve been in these situations where I desperately wanted change and thought, “why can’t someone else take this on?” Trust me, it’s a fruitless question. You can see what’s going on pretty clearly and you’ve taken steps in the past to right the situation by going over their heads to no avail, so it’s time to step into the ring and see if you can work with these individuals to make a change.

My guess is that both of these team leads think they’re doing a good job (or maybe just an ok job) at leading this group. They don’t know that they possess skills in bulldozing and confrontation avoidance, and if they do know, they don’t think anyone notices. Here’s where just a little bit of communication can go a long way. I suggest asking for a meeting with them together. You then tell them that you are concerned with what you see within the team as a confusion over messaging (if you can cite specific examples here, that’s even better). You ask them if they think that perhaps this could be a result of them having such different styles. You go on to say that you really appreciate that Bulldozer is really good at [insert example] and that Confrontation Avoider is really good at [insert example] but that a unified voice would be really helpful to this particular team. And then you ask for their advice. What would they recommend to help this situation? Would they be willing to work with you to come up with some solutions?

It's possible this won’t work, they won’t get it and you’ll be right back where you started. If that happens then it’s time to take it to senior leadership again, or HR, and tell them that there needs to be one team lead with one consistent voice because it simply is not working. And if others on your team feel this way, have them join you in this complaint. The nice thing is, at that point, you can share that you tried to resolve this directly with the two team leads and it was not effective. You’ve done all you can.

The hardest part of these sorts of situations is that they often require an actual conversation with the people involved. That takes energy and preparation that is sometimes hard to muster. But it truly is the best way forward and believe it or not, it can work really well. I’m sending you courage and clarity in hopes it works for you too!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Tired of Infighting? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Overworked, Unsupported, and Ready to Quit

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 21:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

During the pandemic our team was cut in half and I have been basically been doing two people's jobs. Recently one of my teammates gave her notice and my boss said that she expected me and another colleague to take on some of this additional work. When asked whether she would be helping, she said no. She hasn't taken on any extra work since our changes in staffing and is now expecting me to take on even more without any kind of compensation. I've hit my wit’s end. Is there anything that I can do aside from just quitting?

Sincerely,

Ready to Quit

Dear Ready to Quit,

The negative effects of the pandemic on the workplace have not yet subsided, especially for you! It’s clear you’ve taken on too much in the last several years, and without much support from your office, so you’re asking the right question. Let’s break down your options, other than quitting:

1. Ask about plans to hire. Ask leadership what, if any, plans there are to increase staffing. If they can provide a specific timeline and plan that seems reasonable to you, perhaps you’ll feel you can stick around.

2. If there are no plans to hire, make the case to leadership. Speak up to management and be honest that you simply cannot take on anymore. Some leaders may respond well if they knew their employees’ mental health and well-being was suffering, so include this in your case if you feel your manager would be empathetic. Unfortunately, however, some leaders do not care to know about any negative emotional or mental state of their employees. It seems your unhelpful manager may be in this camp. If that’s the case, I’d recommend being objective and making it clear that the understaffing is negatively impacting stakeholders or business. If your boss responds favorably to your plea, you can decide if you still want to stay and if you have the patience to make it through the hiring process.

3. If your boss says they cannot or will not hire more staff, ask for a raise. Make a clear-cut business case in writing for all you’ve taken on over the last 2-3 years and the value you bring to the organization. Decide on a number that seems fair to you and request that new salary explicitly. Avoid mentioning anything personal or emotional—just stick to the facts about the work you’ve done.

If leadership will not hire more staff, disclose an appropriate timeline for hiring, or give you a raise, then your best option is to leave. An organization that truly values you would provide support, either through better staffing or increased compensation for you. If you do not feel valued, it can be very challenging and demoralizing to keep holding on!

If you decide to quit, decide on your timeline and don’t look back. Having another job lined up before you leave may be ideal, but your wellbeing is another important consideration and only you can decide when enough is enough. And keep in mind, your leaving may set a precedent in which leaders will realize that they cannot keep pulling this nonsense! Research indicates it is actually more costly to an organization to lose staff. They should learn to do what it takes to retain quality staff members to save money in the long run, and hopefully create a better environment for everyone involved.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Ready to Quit? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Doing Someone Else’s Work

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 15:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

What are best practices for managing a large volume of email? I have a colleague who doesn't answer messages or makes problems when she does, so others at my employer have taken to writing to me instead of her. They are well intentioned: they want to get work done, but they put me in a difficult position. The person they don't want to write to is my boss, and I wind up getting so many messages and requests that I am completely overwhelmed and stressed.

Sincerely,

Slogging Through

Dear Slogging Through,

Ugh…emails…I, and everyone else in this digital world, feel you. And it’s not just the number of emails but the sense of urgency behind every email that makes it impossible to escape. Plus all the meetings on meetings that lead to more emails but less time to answer said emails…. Ok, I digress! Let’s get back to you!

While emails are a problem unto themselves, in this situation, I don’t think they are THE problem. The problem here appears to be your colleague not doing their job, your other colleagues assuming that you will, you in fact making that assumption true, and your supervisor being seemingly unaware that all of this is happening. So while I can give practical advice on supporting a massive inbox (such as setting aside set times on your calendar to devote to just email, finding ways to prioritize your daily tasks along with sifting through emails to know which ones need to be responded to first, etc.) let’s focus on what I believe are the actual issues.

First and foremost, if you have a colleague that isn’t doing their job and that is impacting you and your work, your supervisor needs to know. I know the idea of “ratting” out your colleagues doesn’t feel the best but this is clearly getting to a point that is unreasonable and action needs to be taken. Hopefully your supervisor will be able to support you by talking to this individual and re-shifting the work back to this individual.

Now, being the eldest sibling has also taught me that sometimes mom just tells you to do it because that’s the path of least resistance versus getting the younger siblings to do it and probably do it wrong. This is not acceptable with siblings or in the workplace. If that is the response you get from your supervisor then that is something you’ll need to work through. Maybe it is ok that you’re supporting all of these emails from your colleagues, but then it should also be ok that other responsibilities are shifted to someone else (i.e. the original offender). Or if you are expected to take on someone else’s job then you should be given a raise, a title change, etc. to compensate for the additional work that you are doing that is likely not in your job description. And, of course, in the worst case scenario there is always HR as a last resort.

Beyond telling your supervisor, and depending on how your supervisor responds, I would also tell your colleagues directly that this isn’t your role and that if they have concerns that the colleague in question isn’t able to support them with, they should go to that individual's supervisor directly. If they’re good colleagues, they’ll understand that you are establishing a healthy boundary and are trying to do what’s best for you as well as everyone else in the long run. Your burning out isn’t going to be beneficial to anyone. If this also doesn’t work, then, moving forward, as you get these emails, start to loop in the colleague in question and your supervisor and say something like, “Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, this doesn’t fall in my wheelhouse but I’m sure X will be able to support as this is their expertise.” This will put the pressure back on your colleague and let your supervisor know as well. Keep doing this until something changes! I know you feel bad and want things to move forward but it can’t be at the expense of your well being.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Feeling the Years? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Stay Calm and Get Organized

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 18:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I'm in a new position requiring a lot of project management in many directions. I am getting swamped with sticky notes and papers accumulating and advanced planning and 'this is a great idea that I said yes to or suggested but now how do I make sure it doesn't fall through the cracks?' I am embarrassed that I'm in my 50s (gulp!) and still struggle with these personal issues of organization.

Sincerely,

Definitely Feeling Like an Imposter

Dear Definitely Feeling Like an Imposter,

I am thrilled you’ve asked this question, because organization is my jam and I love to help others get on top of it. But first things first: you’re not an imposter. Like so many people the world over, you’re juggling a lot of things all at once and you’re trying to keep a “can-do” attitude because that’s what is expected of you. That makes you human, but the fact that you can admit you need help makes you superhuman! So, pat yourself on the back and let’s jump in.

I don’t care whether you’re twenty-two or sixty-five, writing things down is an age-old art that is always a good answer to any organization challenge. List-making is the most simple and effective foundation for getting organized and it’s going to be your best friend. There’s a reason that every project management tool out there has some sort of list-making function. Whether you do it on a piece of birch-bark or on your phone, start with a list. This serves two important purposes:

It forces you to slow down and organize your thoughts. It may sound like a stretch, but make the time to do this by grabbing a coffee and stepping away. You want to allow yourself the time to have things come to you that you may have forgotten or overlooked. Force yourself to sit down, undisturbed, and start your list. This may mean you need to gather up all those Post-it notes and scraps of paper and random digital notes and transfer them into this one list. Do it!
It gets everything in one place. I’ll say that again: It gets everything in one place. The problem with scraps of paper and sticky notes on your desktop is that they scatter your list and when the list gets scattered, things get dropped. What if that Post-it note task didn’t make it onto the agenda in your email because it was sitting under your lunch—oh no! Keep ONE master list and build it out from there.

The list-making tool you use you depends on your personality. Perhaps everything you do is digital and you’re glued to your screen 24/7. If that’s the case, make your list either in something as simple as an Excel spreadsheet or something more layered like a project management tool or digital notebook. If you tend to like an actual paper notebook that can sit on your desk and travel with you, then find a good solid hardcover notebook that will become your best friend—maybe it’s just blank pages or maybe it’s a calendar too. You do you! And don’t judge yourself. There’s not one right tool to stay organized. If you try to force yourself into a system that doesn’t work for you, you won’t use it and then you’ll feel guilty for one more thing you didn’t get done today.

Once you’ve made a list of everything that needs doing for a certain project (perhaps you’ve broken it into categories, added deadlines, and noted others who have a hand in this), then make sure you keep that list active and available at all times. This is key because every time someone mentions something else that needs doing, or you suddenly remember an item you left off the list, or a deadline changes, you need to adjust that list. If you don’t have it readily accessible, you’ll revert to a Post-it which may not make it out of the bottom of your bag.

And here’s the most important advice I can give you: Review that list often, and AT LEAST once per day. I used to sit down with my coffee and go over my list each morning before I did anything else. And, when I was really on my game, I’d review it again before I went home each day so that I could cross things off. If you’re not reviewing the list, adding to it, taking away from it, and generally letting it serve as the guard-rails for your day, it’s not serving its purpose.

There are lots of tools and resources out there, but this is the best starting place I know, and it has never let me down. I hope it works for you too. And remember, slowing down and taking the time to declutter your desk, stopping to look out the window, or doing a short loop around the block all help to clear out the cobwebs in your head. And that makes room for all those great new ideas to be added to your list!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Fight or Flight?

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 21:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work with a younger colleague who is at the same level as I am and around 18 years my junior. I've worked at multiple colleges over the years, with over a decade in international education. This colleague has only worked at this institution (going on 5 years) which is also where they attended undergrad. I began around 3 years ago. This person is very well known on campus and seen as the 'go-to' person for international queries. This person consistently puts down my ideas/suggestions, and makes me feel like my contributions are worthless. They do not want to let go of any work tasks, leaving me with very little to do and feeling belittled along the way. The boss of the group sees the challenges, and has tried to mitigate (including having conversations with the colleague) to no avail. This person continues to do work that is technically mine, oversteps their boundaries, and creates a very challenging work environment. They have also, on occasion, dismissed suggestions I have had for improving and streamlining processes, only to take the idea and present it as their own later on. Being a very non-confrontational person, I've just kept my head down and tried to do my job but do not feel like I can continue like this much longer with such an aggressive and demeaning atmosphere.

Sincerely,

Feeling the Years

Dear Feeling the Years,

I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. Why can’t everyone learn to be a professional?! It seems your colleague could use some advice of their own! You’ve reached the end of your rope, so let’s make a plan to move forward.

While your colleague’s behavior is completely unacceptable, it may help you to first consider some possible reasons for it. Perhaps your colleague believes they are “taking charge” and doing more work and that will help them get ahead in their career. They have clearly missed that their behavior is rude, aggressive, and downright shady, but something in their past could have led them to believe it is necessary to succeed. Perhaps they also believe that you possess less knowledge or expertise since you’ve been in the role for less time (overlooking your years at other institutions). This person could also have deep-rooted control issues or fear of failure which makes it hard for them to let you do your job when they perceive that their way is the only way it should be done. If you consider these underlying issues, it may help you break through if you ask the right questions, or at least accept that their actions are not personal to you.

If you’re up for it, one way to shut down this aggression would be to muster the courage to speak to your colleague. Try attempting a diplomatic approach so it feels less confrontational. Each time they do your work, for example, you can calmly ask, “May I ask why you are doing my work? This is my task and I know you have many other things to do in your role. I have this covered.” Take some time to document each instance and feel free to bring up that it has happened before. While you may want to push back in anger and frustration, phrasing it as a question may force them to consider their actions before responding to you, and you may learn something. Also document your communications so you know when you presented an idea. If your colleague tries to steal an idea, be sure to tell your boss and other colleagues that it was actually your idea and that you first came up with it on X date. Once they see that you will stand up for yourself, they may let up on their behavior. You may get others on your side, as well.

If the diplomatic approach doesn’t work, you have a few options:

Push back harder. If it’s your last attempt, you may find it liberating to speak up. If it doesn’t help, you probably don’t have much to lose.
Lodge a formal complaint with management to see if they could facilitate a change or even fire your colleague (it’s rare, but it DOES happen—if management has seen problematic patterns and turnover is high as a result, they may decide it’s time to let this person go)
Look for another job and get out! If you do decide to quit, be direct about the reasons if you have an exit interview. Again, if management sees troubling patterns, they may take action with your colleague.

Some considerations: How much do you like your job and other colleagues? Do you see a future in this office and hope to stay? How easy is it to find a similar job in your area? If you have other job options, are not too attached, or if you’ve simply had enough and don’t want confrontation, don’t feel bad about giving up. This bad behavior is not your fault, and it shouldn’t be your responsibility to fix it. Life’s too short to surround yourself with toxic people, especially at work!

Good luck with whatever you decide! Here’s hoping this person will knock it off. If not, you can look forward to leaving for a future office environment with kinder and more collaborative colleagues.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

The Unexpected Questions

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 02:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

We recently had an opening in my department for a director position. Had I applied for the job, the position would have been a big promotion for me. I didn't feel quite ready to apply for the job, though, and so I didn't (and I'm fine with that). However, one of my colleagues asked if I had applied for the job in front of a large group of people and it made me very uncomfortable. Is that information no longer considered private? I didn't feel the need for everyone to know if I was or wasn't applying for the job, and I hadn't discussed it with anyone in my department prior to this encounter. How do you respond to questions like this in a group setting when you are put on the spot?

Sincerely,

Deer in Headlights

Dear Deer in Headlights,

‘Tis a fine line that we walk between personal and professional boundaries. Though some may argue that this is a professional question being asked in a professional setting, based on the fact that you’re even asking, I’m betting you’d beg to differ. Also, quite frankly, I’d say it's common courtesy to not ask questions like these in a public forum. But, it happened and may happen again, so what can you do in the future?

First, if you’ve been in this office long enough to consider applying for a promotion and a colleague felt comfortable enough to ask you this question, I’m figuring you have a pretty good sense of the different personalities in the room and how to work with them. This is great because this will help you prepare and be proactive as other complicated or potentially uncomfortable situations come up. If you know something is abuzz in the office, then prepare for that inevitable individual who doesn’t have boundaries and come up with a plan. It’s like being single in your 30s and going to a family event where you know everyone in the room is going to ask you if you’ve found someone. “When are you getting married? What happened to that one person you were talking to? Have you met so and so? I think you’d make a great pair!” Very frustrating. So what’s the game plan? Here are a few plays to keep in your back pocket:

Be honest. Tell the person that you aren’t comfortable having this discussion and leave it at that. This may lead to some awkwardness initially but a) it’s the truth and b) it sets the boundary for future interactions and will hopefully reinforce for everyone in the room that there are certain things that you just aren’t comfortable discussing.
Say you don’t know or give a brief non-answer and then refocus everyone on the subject at hand or another subject, whatever works best.
Deflect/change the subject: “Speaking of directors, you just reminded me….”
Have someone in the wings ready to save you. Someone who can call out the inappropriateness, change the subject, or deflect on your behalf. This, of course, implies that you have confided in someone in the workplace and that you are anticipating questions you don’t want to answer and may not be the most practical solution, but one that could be used if necessary.

The difficulty with situations like these is that it's hard to prepare for something you don’t know is coming. And most of us freeze when we’re caught off guard and don’t know how to react, hence the apt analogy of the deer in headlights. And that’s ok. It’s ok to take a minute to compose yourself and your thoughts and answer in a way that is comfortable for you. I think we’re so focused on needing to immediately respond that we forget that we don’t actually have to. In fact, if you give it a few seconds, someone else will usually chime in because people can’t handle the silence. But if that doesn’t work, you at least have a few options above that you can try.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Deer in Headlights? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Job Hunter 101

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 17:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I’ve officially decided that I need a new job. I’ve been in my position for over a decade now and need a change. I know I want to stay in my field but don’t know where to even begin to start the search. Help!

Sincerely,

Job Hunter 101

Dear Job Hunter 101,

Making the decision to leave a position after a decade can be anxiety-provoking unto itself, let alone remembering/learning how to navigate the job market. But it sounds like you’re ready, and I’m here to help!

First, it’s important to understand what you want out of your next position and what made you leave your current position. Was it the role itself? Was it a lack of growth? Was it the office environment? Are you looking to move up or make a lateral shift? What kind of role are you looking for? Are you willing to move? Make an inventory of what you are looking for (e.g. titles of positions, salary levels, remote or in-person positions, etc.) and what your non-negotiables are. This will help you as you begin to navigate the job market.

Once you have an idea of what it is you’re looking for, then, as much as we all hate to do it, you will need to start updating that resume. Because we’ve established that you’re staying within the field, this shouldn’t be too difficult as it will most likely be just adding your latest position onto an existing resume. Now, if you’ve been off the market for over a decade, then you may want to consider looking at some resume examples or speaking to someone who is able to give you some advice on latest trends (e.g. addresses and objectives haven’t been a thing for a while, how do applicant tracking systems work?). One thing to always remember about resume writing is that EVERY single person you talk to will have something different to say but there are basic rules that resumes follow. As long as you have the basics down, and you understand what your industry expects, then you should be good.

Along with your resume, LinkedIn is another big place to make changes. If you don’t already have a presence on LinkedIn, I HIGHLY recommend you change that. Build a strong profile, begin to post regularly, build your network by first adding the folks that you already know and then grow your network as you begin to meet more people. Similar to resumes, LinkedIn has a world of options for putting yourself strategically out there as a job seeker. There’s even an option to highlight your profile by adding a frame that indicates you’re looking for a job. This is a bit trickier to use as it depends on whether your current employer knows you’re looking or not, but an option nonetheless. Recruiters are actively looking on LinkedIn for potential talent so you want to make sure your profile header, the key words that you use to describe yourself, your about me, etc. align with what you’re looking for. There are lots of webinars and tips out there on how to use LinkedIn–take advantage of these tools.

Ok, so you’ve begun to build your resume and your LinkedIn, what now? How do you actually begin to look for a job? I know it's a cliche, but networking is key. A majority of jobs are found via your network rather than random online searches. Tell people what kind of job you're looking for. Join organizations in your field. Go to industry-specific events. Ask your network to connect you with other people they know in the field at other organizations. If you have a specific organization you want to work for, reach out to folks there and do informational interviews. Now, don’t go into these interviews asking for a job! Go in with the intent of learning about the person you’re talking to, their role, how they got there. The goal is to connect and plant the seed that way in the future you may come to mind if an opportunity arises or perhaps they know other folks that will be good for you to connect with. Connect. Connect. Connect.

Beyond networking, yes, you should of course follow the more traditional path of creating alerts on LinkedIn, Google, and other platforms, to alert you to job openings. For these you’re going to want to know the variety of ways in which a role may be described. For example, a student advising role could be referred to as a student services advisor, a program coordinator, a program manager, etc. All of these may be the same exact job, but they may have different classifications and titles depending on the industry, organization, etc. Typing “advisor” into the job search engine is going to either limit your results or give you so many results that you won't know what to do. There’s a balancing game that you’ll need to play that may take some time and research.

Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg. I can go into lengths about each of these subjects, but I won’t as there are tons of tools out there on each of these subjects. The League specifically offers the Career Connections program which helps folks like you connect with other experienced members to talk through these exact pieces. Check out the program here. Hope this at least gives you a starting point.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

I Need A Push To Quit My Job

Wed, 03 Aug 2022 17:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have been struggling with my job for the last few years. I am generally overworked, exhausted, anxious, and frustrated due to poor leadership, high turnover, difficulty hiring, and systemic issues at my organization. I don’t enjoy my work like I used to, and the continuing pandemic also makes my job more difficult at every turn. Some days it’s hard for me to muster the energy and motivation to work, and I feel sick of it all. Other days, I feel fine and hopeful that things will improve. I feel like my identity is tied to this job. Most of all, I adore my colleagues and have built very strong rapport with them over the years. With all the turnover in our office, I would feel guilty quitting and making things worse for them. I think it’s time for me to leave, but I feel stuck. How can I finally make the leap?

Sincerely,

Need a Push

Dear Need a Push,

I suspect many readers can relate to this— thank you for submitting your question! The workplace, and without a doubt the field of international education, has changed a lot in the last couple of years and everyone is feeling the pinch. While travel aspects are opening back up and some parts of our work are improving, many challenges remain, and plenty of new challenges are emerging. I commend you for hanging on this long! While it’s always true that things could improve and there are trade-offs to leaving a position you’ve settled into, it sounds like you know it’s time for you to move on. Let’s see if I can help get you unstuck!

The decision to leave a position can be complex and deeply emotional, especially if you share a strong bond with your colleagues. You may be worried that your next colleagues won’t be as great, or worried about cutting off part of your social network. The guilt you mentioned can be difficult to grapple with, knowing your departure might increase the workload for your colleagues who stay. Additionally, educators can be relationships-focused people and international educators can center their identity on or live their personal values through their professional work in the field. Consider the following to get more clarity and confidence in your decision:

Take a mindful approach to better understand your emotions. While you’re at work, zoom out and take a look at your feelings and frustrations without being wrapped up in them. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to identify your specific feelings. For example, you can think to yourself, “I am experiencing anger.” In the immediate, this will help you get some distance from negative emotions, but your next step is to note how long you’ve been feeling this way, and how disruptive your feelings are to your life. Is it some passing stress during a busy event, or is it a recurring and toxic emotion that you haven’t been able to reduce despite trying over a long period of time? Do you have these feelings even when you’re NOT at work? Once you take stock of the emotional toll of your job, you may recognize the true cost of staying. If the emotional cost to you is higher than the cost of your team having a temporarily higher workload, consider why you’re putting your colleagues ahead of your own well-being. It is hard for so many of us, but important to know that it’s OK to put yourself first! Plus, don’t underestimate your team! They will be fine without you, and may even have more space to shine when you’re not there to help.

You also mentioned your identity is tied up in your job. Take some time to outline your transferable skills, interests, and knowledge outside of your job. List some of the aspects of your work that energize you and then evaluate whether there are other civic or community opportunities that would allow you to continue to take part in this work outside of a professional role. Once you recognize your assets outside of your current role and identify other ways to fulfill your personal values, you will be better positioned to unwind your identity from your job.

There are always good reasons to stay, but there are also many wonderful opportunities out there for you that you won’t be able to experience if you’re stuck in your current position forever. Do some exploring and have conversations with folks who’ve made a professional pivot. Once you’ve found a few options for new employment, your focus can shift from fear of the unknown to excitement! When you’re excited about new possibilities, even without another job lined up, you will begin to see your way out.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

(NOT) The Dean’s BFF

Wed, 20 Jul 2022 23:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work for an organization in which you only get promoted if you are buddies with the Dean or if the Dean knows you won't challenge him in any way. Everyone that has been promoted to a leadership position has the Dean's ear and does whatever the Dean wants. I've been in my role for many years now and know I can do a lot of great work if I had the opportunity to move up, but I don't see that happening as I don't get much facetime with the Dean. And also, I shouldn't have to! My work should speak for itself but I also recognize that people that are quite frankly incompetent have gotten higher positions in this organization just because they are BFF's with the Dean. A part of me thinks I should just leave but hate having to do that because of one man. Help!

(NOT) The Dean’s BFF

Dear (NOT) The Dean’s BFF,

This kind of “leadership” is super frustrating isn’t it?! Unfortunately, too many people in every type of organization have moved their way up the ranks despite possessing poor leadership qualities or even worse, a warped psychological make-up. Leaders who lack self awareness, are afraid of constructive dialogue or of being vulnerable, use their power to stack their team with “yes” people to protect their own ego and position of power. While employees who aren’t in the inner circle feel the most impact with limited opportunities for advancement, everyone in the organization experiences some ill effects of a workplace led by a toxic leader. Yes, it’s unfair and hopefully your current reality is one you’ll face only rarely. Working for an individual or organization who doesn’t see your worth will have a negative impact on your professional sense of self over time. Therefore, the status quo doesn’t seem like a viable option.

In a situation like yours, I see two primary options. You can prioritize making time to evaluate your skills, list the contributions you’ve made, and identify your professional goals as preparation to network outside of your unit while actively seeking a promotion or lateral change within your existing organization. Identify and take advantage of opportunities that afford you ways to build new relationships outside of your current role and help you learn new skills. Maybe that means volunteering, enrolling in a human resources training program, serving on an employee council, participating in an employee resource group (ERG), or seeking out a partnership or collaboration with a team that serves your current unit and your own goals. In any of these experiences, be ready to tell your story clearly to others. Prepare a pitch that expresses what you like about the organization, what you’ve contributed, and what you are seeking in the future. Be sure to consider every new engagement as an opportunity to learn about the organization and meet new people. In these interactions, focus on showing curiosity by asking questions, using active listening to convey your interest, and taking advantage of opportunities to talk about work you’ve done within your unit to convey capacity and deepen relationships. Most importantly, seek out sponsors who are likely to identify your value on their team and to the greater organization. Avoid speaking ill of the Dean or trying to influence those who are oblivious or turning a blind eye to the poor leadership in your unit. It’s time to focus on you and your future. How you behave will influence how other leaders perceive you. Anticipate that this likely means changing your role considerably or moving outside of international education unless you work in a very large organization with a decentralized structure.

The other option is to decide to reframe the way you’re thinking about the Dean and manage up in ways that play into how this person leads in order to move into their inner circle. Managing up with a person like this takes a serious amount of will, a massive desire to stay put knowing the road is long and likely full of obstacles, and possible investment in a career counselor, coach or mentor who can support you through the effort you're going to put in.

Regardless of which path you choose, identify a reasonable timeframe, consider benchmarks to measure your progress, and keep good records that allow you to reflect on the work you’ve done and consider what you’ve gained. Change isn’t generally easy but it’s often worth it in the long run.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

My Clothes, My Choice

Wed, 06 Jul 2022 17:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

As a woman who regularly travels for work, has external partner meetings, and goes to conferences (they're coming back!), I continue to face the issue of what is and is not appropriate professional women's attire. I've had numerous people, ironically, mostly women, tell me I should not wear form-fitting clothing or that too much of my shoulder is showing (i.e. the straps to my top or not covering enough), or even when I am fully covered, my outfit isn't professional basically because I have large breasts. I'm getting quite sick of it but also know that education is much more conservative than many other fields. What do you think? Should I just suck it up and "cover up" even though I think it's completely ridiculous?

Sincerely,

My Clothes, (Should be) My Choice!

Dear My Clothes, (Should be) My Choice!,

After two years of working from the couch at home, it is a new world getting back into professional attire and heading out the door. You’re not alone in wondering how the landscape has or has not changed in terms of appropriate workplace attire. And it has changed. While we perhaps can’t get away with pajama bottoms and t-shirts at conferences, there is a visibly shifting bar that is leaning towards a much more casual approach to the office setting. That said, there is still an expectation that workers will be savvy enough to know what is appropriate and what is not, recognizing that we are all ultimately representing the company for which we work. However, the quandary you share here seems to be one in which your personal style is being questioned as it relates to your work in the field. I would urge you to consider two things:

1. Your motives. If your choice of clothing is based on your comfort, what you deem to be becoming, and what you feel is appropriate for the work you are doing, then you should feel fine about the choices you're making. If they veer into a desire to be noticed, to give off sex appeal, or to make a statement about your femininity or body, then I’d reconsider.

This brings me to the second point.

2. Your purpose. All of us have a responsibility to the jobs we’ve chosen to do and our goal is to carry out that work to the highest possible standard. In our daily jobs we are always called upon to face multiple challenges and overcome constant distractions. Ask yourself if your choice of clothing is distracting others from hearing and seeing you as the professional that you are. While our fashion is a wonderful way for us each to exhibit individuality, flair, and creativity, it may be that there are places where these expressions should be tamped down in order for the focus to remain on the objectives we are seeking to meet. If you are constantly getting comments about your attire, this suggests that your colleagues are distracted by your outfits. Should they be? Probably not but there is only so much we can control in this world.

If you don’t know the answer to the questions above, then I’d consider finding a colleague that you trust and respect as a professional and asking them point blank. Tell them that you’ve received negative feedback on your clothing and that you want an honest opinion.

In the end, you want your colleagues and partners to take you seriously for who you are as a professional. If you think your clothing is distracting people from that, then a change up might be needed. It’s frustrating, I know, but you have to decide which battles are worth your effort. And if this is a battle you want to wage, then find a response that you can gracefully deliver when someone questions what you’re wearing. Make it unemotional and clear. Who knows, if this is truly something that needs to be tackled in the field of women’s professional attire, you might just be able to start moving that needle.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Managing Up

Wed, 22 Jun 2022 17:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

In your last answer you mentioned the importance of "managing up." Can you say more about what that is, why it's important, and how to do it well?

Sincerely,

Doing Lots of Jobs

Dear Doing Lots of Jobs,

Happy to expand. Managing up is simple to define but can be challenging to realize. Simply, it is managing your relationship with your supervisor or someone else up the chain of command in your organization. It is an important skill that isn’t explicitly taught. Managing up takes effort but makes your manager’s job and your day-to-day job easier. It requires:

caring about the quality of work through your supervisor’s eyes
caring about them and their goals
communicating effectively, which requires understanding your managers preferred communication style
supporting your manager and providing honest feedback that helps improve your relationship
being results oriented
staying on course with the company’s and your manager’s vision

Some have a negative connotation of managing up, perceiving it as manipulating or sucking up to your boss or even complaining, and while there are plenty of people that do that, that is not what I’m referring to here. I’m talking about supporting yourself, your manager, and your team if the need arises. Being effective at managing up requires identifying and employing strategies which both help you achieve your professional and personal goals while also demonstrating your value to superiors by helping them to achieve their goals. I’m sure you can imagine why managing up can be a challenging task. We’ve all experienced our share of workplace relationships where you and a superior have noticeable differences in workstyles, communication styles, vision, goals, or desired paths to achieve unit outcomes. While we know diversity in work settings has the potential to enhance the outcomes, it can also create perceived conflict or strife if both parties aren’t recognizing those differences as strengths and working toward common goals over seeking the spotlight. Not to mention, there isn’t a one size fits all approach and there are landmines all around you in any workplace, including competitive teams, toxic gossips, poor morale, or any other number of dysfunctions that can sabotage even the most well thought out and intentional efforts.

Done effectively, it can help you to find common ground with a manager who doesn’t work or think the way you do, lead to increased trust, help you gain control over your workload, result in a manager advocating for you when there’s something you want, and make your value to your organization clear to your manager and the team as a whole.

To start being effective at managing the relationship with your supervisor I suggest doing some hard work to reflect on and seek insights to understand yourself and your manager. Prioritize regular communication that is both centered on work and professional talk to get to know them as a person, then focus on giving and receiving feedback with an open mind, grace and humility. We all know the saying that “people don’t leave a company, they leave their supervisor”. This highlights how our relationship with our boss is a significant determining factor in our happiness at work. By learning to manage up and improve that relationship, you invest in your own happiness.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Impossible to Get Fired

Wed, 08 Jun 2022 18:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I am a consultant for an organization that has a lot of good natured and loyal employees, some who have been there for decades. However the organization also has a handful of staff who are not pulling their weight and not good at what they do. There is a track record of management not providing any structured feedback to staff and never criticizing staff. There is talk behind closed doors about these people but it is clear they will never be asked to leave, or asked to improve. The inside joke is that it is impossible to get fired at this company. I have not been asked for my input on this nor is it my area of expertise but in my several years working with them, I can see that it is clearly a detriment to their operations, and many staff are frustrated by this but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Is there anything I can do?

Sincerely,

Head in the Sand

Dear Head in the Sand,

What’s that quote that people are constantly saying? “The reward for good work is more work.” Too bad there isn’t an equivalent for all of the folks that are rewarded for doing horrible work by getting to float on by while doing nothing. Oh, if I can count the number of times I’ve heard this scenario come up in the world of work. So, what can we do?

Before we jump into potential avenues to explore, I want you to really consider how much of a role you want to take/are able to take based on this situation. As a consultant, I’m assuming you aren’t a part of the organization in terms of reporting lines, etc. You have clearly built close relationships and want to support your fellow colleagues, but where is the scope of your position and how does that tie into what can be done? Now there’s the matter of what role you play but also of the work that you do. Are, for example, these not-so-great colleagues impacting your ability to do your work? Or is it more that you’re hearing things and just know it's impacting the morale of the organization, which can impact your work but maybe not directly? These are all important things to consider. If the quality of work these colleagues are (or are not) doing is impacting your ability to do your job, then it’s your problem too and something that makes sense for you to get involved in. However, if that is not the case, then I would tread carefully. As much as you want to help, you may be limited in what you can do aside from providing moral support.

If you decide you would like to do something, or want to advise your colleagues to do something, typically I would say we should start with the colleagues themselves. I wrote a great piece for Seeking Solutions and for Managing Sucks that I think you will find helpful. Now, if working with the colleagues directly doesn’t pan out, which seems likely considering you mentioned that beyond not pulling their weight, they are also not good at their job, then going to management would be the next step. In this case, it appears that management is half of the problem. Many managers are, unfortunately, conflict avoidant which may play a role in them not being able to provide structured feedback. Are the managers fully aware of the depth of the issue and its impact on the staff and the operations? If numbers or goals aren’t being reached, for example, this will be a direct reflection on the managers so we want to make sure they are fully aware of the level of the impact. This is where recording facts of the exact situations and the times in which things have gone badly is important. If you haven’t started recording these incidents, I would recommend starting. You need to build a case to even be able to consider consequences.

If after all of that management is still unwilling to do anything and you’ve gone up the chain, then HR would be another resource. HR should have the tools for you to be able to file a formal complaint and support the colleagues that are being impacted.

Finally, if that doesn’t work, if your colleagues don’t want to go the HR route, or the HR route turns out to be a dead end, there are two other things you can consider. First, do your colleagues want to continue to work at an organization where they don’t feel heard and their work appreciated? That would be enough to get most people to consider other options. Maybe a mass exodus will be the wake up call management needs! If leaving is not on the table for whatever reason, then another recommendation would be to see if the work can be siloed in a way that your colleagues have the least amount of interaction with the people that aren’t pulling their weight. This way, you have your piece, they have theirs, and if someone doesn’t meet a deadline, it's not on you. Management and that person can deal with it. Now this is easier said than done as most operations rely on multiple players, but it's something that you could recommend to ease some of the load.

This is a tough one. The key is to decide what is worth it and what’s not for everyone involved. A mass exodus may begin to sound appealing soon if needs continue to not be met. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Friend or Flake?

Wed, 20 Apr 2022 16:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have a colleague who I have a lovely rapport with and who I like a lot on a personal level. She believes we are good office friends and confidants. However she is constantly not getting her job done and overlooks things that need doing, as well as saying she will do things and then consistently forgetting. Her follow-through is really terrible and it is frustrating working with her and relying on her for things. She is in a senior role and others notice it as well, but my company does not ever assess people honestly. I feel I cannot speak to her about this but am unsure what to do.

Sincerely,

Seeking Solutions

Dear Seeking Solutions,

I am glad that you get along well with your colleague. You’ve highlighted her obvious shortcomings, but the fact that you have strong rapport with her should help you give candid feedback that will help you to continue working with her and stay sane.

I know you don’t feel as though you can speak to her about what you see with her lack of follow through, but I’d recommend that you give it a go. Feedback is a gift. Trust and psychological safety are essential to a feedback conversation. Without it, the person receiving the feedback is likely to question your intentions. She sees you as a confidant, you already have a good position to give specific feedback with a lower chance that she will take offense. Tell her you’ve noticed a pattern of her not completing her work by agreed upon deadlines or forgetting it all together and ask if everything is OK. If you approach her with concern for her well-being, rather than accusing her of being a flake, she will hopefully open up and explain. Ideally she’ll convey awareness of her issues with time management or keeping on task and remembering what she commits to. Or she may share she is struggling in her personal life in a way that affects her work. Although you may not want to, consider what kind of support or help you can offer her if needed. If she’s not very self-aware or just slacking off, chances are she’ll be embarrassed that you noticed and want to step up, thus declining your help. However, if there is something going on, lend her an ear and see if you can find a solution.

If she gets defensive and claims there is no problem with her follow-through, then you’ll have to decide if the next step will be to speak to a supervisor. It sounds like you don’t have much faith that they’d take meaningful action, so if you do raise the issue be prepared to provide concrete examples of how this is negatively affecting your work and the company, as it will be harder for them to ignore. You didn’t mention if any of your other colleagues have noticed issues. If they have, it may also be useful for them to report these to management—strength in numbers! Then, try not to rely on her for work-related things while you focus on your friendship instead. It’s not impossible to like someone as a person and not appreciate them in a professional setting. I suggest trying to focus on doing your own work and minimizing team work with her. If it becomes clear that you’re doing the work and she isn’t contributing, management may decide to rethink her employment.

If all else fails and nothing changes, do your best to lead by example and make it obvious how valuable strong collaboration and follow-through can be!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Managing Sucks

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 21:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have an employee who reports to me that just doesn't seem to want to work. She is constantly challenging my authority and complains about the work she does and she doesn't even do most of the work she is supposed to without having to be reminded multiple times. She's been here for many years now and should know how things work. I'm just at a loss as to what to do at this point.

Sincerely,

Managing Sucks

Dear Managing Sucks,

Let’s face it: Being a manager is often just hard. It can be very rewarding but getting to that point means putting in the hard work of patiently dealing with difficult people and situations and learning as you go along. None of us were born great managers. We’ve learned, often the hard way, from a lot of frustration and missteps. I get that your current situation sucks and that’s directly related to this specific employee. But management in general need not suck, so let’s see if I can help guide you to some tools that could help. Hopefully this will not only improve the situation but will also give you the fulfillment and satisfaction that good management skills can bring to your job.

In reading your question my first determination is that this employee is unhappy. This may seem like an obvious and mild assumption but let’s not underestimate what unhappiness in the workplace can do. Unhappy employees disengage and when they do that, they stop performing, stop caring, stop responding. They can become defensive, sometimes combative, sometimes lazy, and generally don’t complete work or complete it poorly. Sounds like your employee? I’m guessing so.

Let’s assume she is unhappy, and this is manifesting as a difficult to manage employee. Getting to the heart of where this unhappiness is coming from could be key to finding a solution. You said she has been in this job for many years, so is she frustrated that she’s not progressing at work? Is she bored with her position, unchallenged, feeling at a dead end? Have others around her come and gone over the years and she’s feeling stuck? Has her role changed, and she no longer feels she has the skills to carry out the work? Maybe it’s nothing to do with work at all. Maybe she’s having family challenges at home. Maybe she’s got health issues she’s facing. Maybe she’s overwhelmed with finances, childcare, eldercare, the list could go on.

The trick is to critique the behavior, not the person. I know this is asking a lot, but you will be far more effective if you can separate the personality from the actions and focus on the latter. Believe it or not, most difficult people are not intending to be difficult, and many aren’t even aware of their behavior. Don’t react to the person themselves.

Look at the behaviors and maybe even make a specific list of the things that are troublesome and need improvement. Then set up a meeting with your employee and try to get at what could be causing these issues. Ask them pointed questions about their job satisfaction, the projects on their plate, their team relationships, and then listen actively to what they say. Be a safe place for them to open up and share what might be causing them some angst. And if they won’t share anything, then it’s time to ramp it up with something like “From my perspective, you seem unhappy in your work lately” or “I’ve noticed you are having a hard time meeting deadlines lately” and then follow it with “is there anything that’s troubling you or anything I can do to help?” If you are sincere in your questions, they will respond. But be willing to ask them if there are things you can do to better manage them and their work and then take those to heart. None of us want to hear that we are the problem, but we can all do better. Perhaps your style of management or communication is challenging for them to understand or grasp. Be willing to hear them out. In essence, open up a dialogue that can help you understand the root causes of their behavior and therefore better manage them.

This can seem like an overwhelming and time-consuming task, but as a manager these are skills you want to be constantly improving, so practice is not a bad thing. Embrace it as an opportunity to not only improve your work life, but also to help a colleague who is clearly struggling. You will both be better for it!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Orphaned in the Office

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

A senior position in my organization was recently, and suddenly, eliminated. The person in this role worked with my office closely and was our leader. We haven't received much information from senior leadership other than this was budget-related. Staff in my office, as well as other external stakeholders, are confused and worried by this decision and thrown off by this sudden change in leadership. As a manager, how do I support my staff and stakeholders and reassure them, even when I don't have much information?

Sincerely,

Orphaned in the Office

Dear Orphaned in the Office,

If only good communication were the hallmark of every organization, right? Don’t worry, you may feel orphaned but you are not at all alone! How many of the world's problems could be righted if only there were just a few more details, just a little more clarity, just a bit more honest information being shared.

The way I see it, there are basically two avenues to take on this, and I think you’re going to need to use both. The first is tackling the unsettling feeling of redundancies taking place right in front of you and your team and wondering who’s next. With little information, let alone reassurances coming from the top, it’s absolutely normal to feel a level of concern. Your team may feel some sadness at losing a leader, but I’m guessing the real culprit is the unknown possibility of wider-spread cutbacks. And that doesn’t make for a healthy and productive work environment nor does it play well with stakeholders. Now it would be great if I could give you a magical solution that you could implement on your own right now without having to involve anyone else or any sort of confrontation, but sadly that’s not in my bag of tricks. What I recommend is a graceful, articulate, and unemotional quest for information. If you have an HR department then this quest should be squarely directed at them. If you don’t, then it means asking the question to your supervisor, or the supervisor above them. As a manager, you have been charged with caring for, and getting the best out of, your team as well as serving your stakeholders. You have every right to gather helpful information that will serve to stabilize both these groups. Share with your supervisor or HR that your teams have been unsettled by this rather drastic news and that some assurances would not only be helpful, but are necessary. Even if your leadership can’t or won’t share details, they can certainly recognize that some further communication is needed. You may not want to be the one to alert them to this, but you are best suited to do so because you have direct concerns on your hands and those will eventually affect everyone right up to the top.

The second avenue is really best traveled as you wait for the above to take place. This is one of being a cheerleader. In some ways, it’s a diversion tactic that buys time while hopefully more information is coming down the pike. But it’s also a very honest way to provide relief. It’s the reminder of mission and values: why we do this job and who we’re really benefiting. The ease at which we can get lost in the day-to-day minutiae of our jobs is staggering. When was the last time you actually thought about, or talked to a colleague about, the reason this work matters? If it doesn’t matter then perhaps it's time to look elsewhere but that’s a topic for another day. As a manager, you have a unique role to play in reminding your team of the value in what you do. While these sorts of organizational politics are easy to get wound up in, there is a bigger picture out there. Maybe it’s time for a group coffee break to get excited about the “whys” and forget about the “whats” for a few minutes. And hey, it will make you feel good, too!

None of this is easy and I bet you’re thinking “why me?” a lot of the time. But the very fact you’ve brought this question up today, means you are a discerning and caring manager. Those are great qualities that make you perfect for traveling the road ahead.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Actually the Director

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

My boss is no longer in her position. She was serving an interim role as Director in my unit. A permanent Director role won't be hired for another several months at least. As the senior-most person in the office, I will now have to take on more responsibility, especially since the head of our department (who on paper will now be doing the Director-level tasks) is new and not knowledgeable about very much. I was offered a small one-time bonus as recognition of my increased workload, but I am still undercompensated for this level of work, and will not have any change in title. How do I advocate for myself and my compensation when the department head claims he can do all of these tasks but I know it will all fall on me?

Sincerely,

Actually the Director

Dear Actually the Director,

The combination of the reduction in force and great resignation over the last two years across so many industries means increasing workloads being laid on fewer employee’s shoulders. In some instances, the significant employee shifts have resulted in a new awareness that an employer has to act to stave off more employee departures. Often, employee transitions create opportunities for new leaders to step into leadership roles not previously accessible. If you don’t advocate for yourself, no one will!

While the small “loyalty” bonus you received clearly isn’t likely enough to retain you long-term, consider it as recognition they need you. Developing a strong relationship with the head of department early on is key. Don’t miss an opportunity to acknowledge the Interim Director’s departure will change workload both up and down the organization. Showing compassion toward others positively impacts our own and others psychological well being. Are there ways you can convey compassion with each of your colleagues, including the head of the department? Don’t wait, ask for a regular bi-weekly or monthly meeting, with the department head to be sure you have consistent face time during this transitional period. In the meantime, make the time to reflect, document, and (re)-establish realistic expectations with your constituencies regardless how much other work is piled on to position yourself to manage up and advocate for yourself.

First, take time to reflect. Ask yourself, is my work satisfying? If you’re burned out, unmotivated, uninspired, take time to identify the root cause(s). Are you overworked? Or after reflecting have you identified that there’s another type of work that excites you? Write notes down or record a conversation with yourself, a close friend, or a professional to help you to sort through your thoughts. You’ll benefit from focusing here before you move ahead with actions to improve your work conditions.

Then after you’ve made time to consider your investment in your current role, make the time to complete a thorough audit of your job responsibilities. List in bullets what were you hired to do in one color and added responsibilities in another. Highlight essential responsibilities that are unlikely to change to differentiate those from lower priority responsibilities that could be paused, re-allocated to another team member, or transferred to or fulfilled in collaboration with another unit. By identifying the creep of scope of work and quantifying what you see as the most important responsibilities you are preparing yourself for any opportunity, planned or spontaneous, to engage in conversation and show leadership by communicating tangible information and solutions. Do not miss opportunities to seek clarity with the head of the department and develop clear documentation of what your role is, and the role other team members (up and down the chain of command) will play in this transitional period. While all work is teamwork, in the short term, it benefits everyone to have a clear understanding of their scope of work and minimize unnecessary work or overlaps. You’ll also have the information you need to communicate misalignment or re-allocation of responsibilities and compensation with the Sr. leadership and/or Human Resources.

Finally, you won’t be able to maintain sanity through this transitional period if you don’t ensure your campus partners, students, and external stakeholders have a clear understanding of what they can expect from you and your team members. When workloads are higher response time will naturally be slower. Communicate with constituencies so they know they can expect the same high quality but staff constraints result in an additional few days to produce the work. If you look around any industry this is the reality everywhere. It may not be easy at first, but with consistency and a coordinated plan, your constituents begin to adjust by removing some pressure. A critical skill that isn’t often taught and like many skills strengthens over time with practice and good mentorship is managing up. Now more than ever you are in a position where influencing those more senior to you is paramount. Having done the work above, you’re establishing yourself as a leader who has the information and capacity to do just that.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Navigating Freelance Contracts

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 21:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I recently entered the world of contract work. I have been offered two assignments and one had me sign a non-compete agreement. I want to be very careful of the work I'm doing and not break the non-compete, the work is different enough, but I'm also concerned it may be a bit too similar. How do I navigate this? I would like to do both assignments for the sake of building my skills in consulting and also for the financial aspect of things. This is all new to me and I would love some ideas as to how to handle this.

Sincerely,

Contractually Confused

Dear Contractually Confused,

Congratulations on being offered two assignments! But yes, please try not to get into legal trouble before you even get started in the world of contract work. Let’s break down your options.

Since you feel strongly about completing both assignments, hopefully you can clarify the terms of the non-compete agreement and be confident that you will not be in violation.

What does the agreement state? Does it limit the subject area, or list specific organizations or geographic areas in which you cannot work? Be sure to refer closely to the agreement, and consult with an employment lawyer if needed. It may turn out that it’s less limiting than you think.

If the agreement is still unclear, or you’re not able to speak with a lawyer independently, you may want to consult with your employer or someone in the legal department to get more details about the limitations of the non-compete they had you sign. Without giving too many details about your other assignment, I think you can inquire. Make it clear that your ultimate goal is to complete the assignment and to be sure you aren’t creating any issues for the organization.

Most importantly, be sure your motives are clear and trustworthy. You want to help both organizations succeed, causing no harm to either. If you get any sort of gut feeling that you may be crossing a line, listen to that and step back. I think deep down we often know the terms and conditions inherently but we don’t always trust or listen to that. So be honest with yourself and be willing to forego one or the other if it doesn’t feel good.

In the end, you may feel it is too risky to complete both assignments. If that’s the case, pick the one you like best and know that there will be many more opportunities to learn (and earn) with future assignments, and with no legal risk to you.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Supporting Colleagues

Wed, 02 Feb 2022 19:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

It's 2022 and it feels like we are still facing one crisis after another. I have colleagues that are going through some difficult times but I don't know how to support them beyond just saying, "I'm so sorry to hear. I'm here if you need anything." What can I do to support someone in need?

Sincerely,

Want to Lend a Helping Hand

Dear Want to Lend a Helping Hand,

It really is 2020 - too, huh?! Sorry, couldn’t resist saying that. Some levity is nice these days as we head into year three of whatever it is you want to call this. I can’t even count how many times I’ve talked about this ongoing pandemic and its impact on people. But thank you for asking this question, because it’s something I’m sure many of us are struggling with.

A lot of people are experiencing difficult situations involving loss, poor emotional or physical health, or diminished security and, honestly, sometimes the most important thing someone needs to hear is, “I”m so sorry to hear. I’m here if you need anything.” It’s important to open up the line of communication with a person in need, to use active listening, and validate how someone is feeling. That unto itself is a huge and very underrated activity in a period of overwhelming uncertainty for all. Of course, you want to make sure you mean those words and are actually going to be there for them if they do reach out for support. Leave space for the person to reach out when they are ready to ask for what they need. Check in and be present with them, but don’t push yourself onto anyone that isn’t ready. When they are ready, offer the shoulder, the advice, the validation, the caretaking, whatever they are making clear to you they need most. Again, be sure you are able to give it. Be mindful of what you are comfortable and able to do. I know many people who give so much that they forget to take care of themselves in the process and you don’t want to find yourself in that situation either.

I also want to acknowledge that a lot of us don't actually know how to ask, or feel comfortable asking, for help. So what do you do in those situations? Maybe you support by offering to do things that may be small (or big!) for you, but super helpful for others without necessarily overtly asking. For example, maybe you volunteer in place of that colleague to complete certain tasks or work on certain projects. Or help take on some of their existing work to give them a bit of respite while they deal with whatever they are facing. Another easy thing to do is to give your colleague the benefit of the doubt if they aren’t able to be present or produce like they may have in the past. This can apply to non-work related situations too. Maybe you drop off a meal, take a pet for a walk, offer to do some work around the house, or babysit your friend’s kids so they can get a small break. Consider what your friend/colleague enjoys (coffee, sweets, flowers, funny memes or videos). Make a plan to bring it to them knowing it will give you a good reason to check in on them and to show them you are thinking of them. I know I’ve appreciated even things like a text with folks checking in with me to say hello. So not necessarily asking me how I’m doing because that can be overwhelming to respond to, but a quick “Hey. Was thinking of you. Just wanted to say hi!” With a message like this there’s no expectation to respond but an underlying message that you care, which goes a long way.

The key here is to understand the person a bit and what they may need but also to know that the littlest of things tend to go the furthest when it comes to supporting those around us. Added bonus, these acts of care and kindness impact the giver as well as the receiver.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Fed Up with Faculty

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 18:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work for a large public research university. I truly love my colleagues and the contact I have with students. However, when it comes down to it, faculty call the shots. And, frankly, since this is confidential, they don't know what they are doing. It is discouraging and disheartening to have people in power who no one can stand up to because they are tenured and have power and powerful titles. What do I do? I am planning on leaving the field because of this, but part of me doesn't want to. P.S. I don't want to get my PhD! I just want to be able to be seen as the expert that I am/respected to make decisions.

Sincerely,

Peace out

Dear Peace Out,

Sigh, I don’t think it really matters what type of university you work for these days, a growing number of professional and administrative staff are openly sharing they have one foot out the door due to an array of struggles and organizational dysfunctions. Maybe your experience is just a case of not finding organizational fit. Maybe your experience is related to a toxic organizational culture stemming from faculty, even some who are well-meaning, who are protected by tenure and who expect their voice to be the most prominent in shared governance. Read the headlines in the Chronicle, Inside Higher Ed, and Diverse Issues in Higher Education among others, and you’ll see the Great Resignation is happening in higher education too. Staff are feeling beat down and fed up because their commitment, their expertise, and their contributions to the institution are not being valued. Administrative leaders are continually adding new responsibilities and workload and faculty can sometimes be quick to place blame or create barriers to long overdue organizational changes. There are entire social media groups for “expatriates” to support each other to leave higher education.

Now hearing all of that can leave any one feeling discouraged and disheartened, so what can you do about it? First, it’s important to examine the feelings you are having and understand what is driving you away. Is it just the dynamic with faculty? With the administration? Is there more to it? While faculty tend to have a more elevated role, not all faculty are horrible and on power trips. In fact, I’ve worked with many faculty that are amazing and try to support both students and staff. Once you have a better understanding of what you’re looking for, you’ll be better positioned to switch departments or institutions or pursue an industry change. Be sure to do your research and ask about power dynamics and other concerns you have during the interview process so you can avoid jumping from one toxic environment to another as much as possible. There are plenty of other spaces in higher education that have a healthier balance and relationship between staff, faculty, and the administration; you just may have to look with this in mind.

Ultimately, if you really don’t think higher ed is the space for you and you no longer feel seen as an expert, can’t see the positive impact of the work you’re doing, or able to find joy from focusing on the things you can control in your work, then leaving for another sector may be a path you want to pursue. I recommend talking to friends or family who work in industries you are considering. Attend free webinars or events led by organizations that interest you and begin to expand your network. You may even find you know people who worked with you in the past in higher education who are now working in the private sector. Many industries are feeling the pain and offering big referrals to employees who refer qualified employees to open positions. Update your LinkedIn profile and ask for recommendations from colleagues who can speak to your transferable skills. Finally, there are lots of great professional coaches out there who can guide you as you embark on a new path.

Remember, every organization and every field is going to have some sort of hierarchy and power dynamics. Leaving a field doesn’t necessarily mean you’re leaving that behind. Difficult relationships are going to be a reality so consider doing some research on how to work within difficult power dynamics through training, books, or coaching.

The turmoil of the pandemic has taken a heavy toll on everyone. Those who are changing jobs, becoming entrepreneurs, or leaving the workforce altogether have a desire to recalibrate and focus on where their values guide them. While a change in organizational type may be just what you need, it also doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the metaphor “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” to be a possible reality.

Sincerely,

Sophia

Staying Connected To The Field

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 22:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I've worked in the study abroad field in both the US and abroad, and I find it harder to stay connected to the field while living and working abroad. How can I stay connected to the networking opportunities, trends in study abroad, and professional inspiration while based at an overseas provider?

Sincerely,

Seeking Connection

Dear Seeking Connection,

At the risk of sounding like a marketing pitch, I’d start right where you are with the Global Leadership League! The whole purpose of the League is to provide professionals such as yourself with a platform and arena for community, knowledge, and dialogue. It is set up to be a vibrant space for you to learn from other colleagues in the field and even advance your career no matter where in the world you’re working. So while I am admittedly biased, I think this is the best place to start. Take advantage of opportunities like the Career Connections, Mentor Circles, League social and networking events, etc. I know so many people that have found these spaces a great way to stay connected and to meet new colleagues.

From there I’d think about what aspects of international education you are most interested in and then explore organizations that are in those spaces. So for example, if you are looking for a space that provides standards of practice, The Forum on Education Abroad is great. If you’re looking for something that is perhaps more location specific, there are organizations such as International Education Association of Australia (IEAA) or the Japan Network for International Education (JAFSA). The Association of International Education Administrators has a great list that you can find here. A majority of these organizations have working groups that you could join, or volunteer opportunities with which you could engage remotely. One benefit of the pandemic is that remote engagement on boards and working groups is far more common and acceptable now. Use that to your advantage. Not only will participation help you stay connected with colleagues and up to date on current trends, but these are all great professional development opportunities. It’s a win-win really!

Many of the organizations I mentioned above also have accompanying conferences, which are great opportunities to connect and grow. Yes, they can be expensive to attend but you can make a professional case to attend just the way you can to join organizations. Presenting at a conference is one of the easiest selling points for an employer. It’s harder to say no if you are going to be representing your organization and presenting on a topic that is moving the field forward. And a conference proposal is a great excuse/reason to reach out to colleagues around the world and to work with them on a much more intimate level.

How about tapping into your local city networks? We sometimes forget that a lot of places have local meet ups and organizations that are industry specific for colleagues in finance, law, etc. So for example in the San Francisco Bay Area there is the Bay Area Young Professionals in International Education (BAYPIE) which meets regularly for social events and workshops. Look around to see if there is something similar right in your backyard! And if there isn’t, maybe you start one!

Finally, I have to, of course, mention social media which has its issues but also a lot of pros. I would consider a focused engagement on LinkedIn or other platforms. On LinkedIn, make time to read through posts and connect with people in your field who you think are writing about interesting things. Post your own insights and repost other ones. Consider Slack as an alternative. There’s a great channel called “All Things International Education'' which is a great way to chat on a variety of subjects in the field and meet people you might not otherwise. Social media is ever expanding so I’m sure by the time this post goes up there will be ten other apps to connect with folks. Be open to it!

In the end, it’s going to take a concentrated effort on your part to reach out and engage remotely. And while it may feel like you are whistling into the void at first, you will find that eventually your connections and engagements will snowball. No matter what route you take, never forget that you have valuable experience and a lot to offer to the field. Don’t be afraid to jump in and let people know that you want to connect.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Under New Management

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 22:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have a new manager who has come in with a different management style. I am trying to be open-minded and adapt, but it's hard not to miss the way things were. What tips do you have to help me navigate the transition?

Sincerely,

Retrospective Rose

Dear Retrospective Rose,

Things just keep changing don’t they? As much as we may want them to stay the same, they inevitably change. This can be exciting but also anxiety-provoking as newness typically brings uncertainty, and we humans don’t do well with not knowing what’s to come. Unfortunately, this is the pandemic-driven state the entire world has been in for almost two years. Adding to this change, what may have previously been a stable and predictable aspect of your life is undoubtedly going to be a transition. So, how do you get through this?

First, acknowledge the loss: You lost your old manager and possibly a friend. You’re missing the way things used to be, so I’m assuming things were good. So let’s just take a minute to accept all of this and to give you space to grieve. You’ve experienced a loss and that is something you should allow yourself the time to process. I feel like we treat the workplace very differently from our personal lives, but the reality is you probably spend more time working than you do doing other things, so it’s important to acknowledge the change and its impact on you.

Once you’ve done that (or as you’re doing it because it may take some time), I would treat this new manager and the change it brings for what it is – a new relationship and a new opportunity. It’s like when you start dating someone new: yes, we inevitably compare them to our ex, but we also know that we shouldn’t because the dynamics will be different. We need to learn how to navigate this new space together. So just like you would with anyone with whom you’re building a new relationship, get to know them. Try to understand where your new manager is coming from, what their work/management style is, what their goals are, and in turn, help them understand yours. What do you need in a manager? What do you need to be successful in a workplace? If you can take time to have this conversation with your new manager, then you’ll be better situated to go into this new working arrangement with a better understanding of how things will move forward.

Now, this baseline conversation will hopefully help you better understand your manager’s style, which you’ve mentioned is different from yours. Maybe you’re used to being able to take lunch whenever and now you have to set a particular time. Or you’re used to working more independently but now your manager wants to be more involved. Whatever the difference may be, you may need to make some adjustments to the way you used to do things. Maybe some of these adjustments are a good thing and, though different, will help you and your team. Others may not be so great in your book, but it’s important to try to at least understand the “why” behind the situation. If you’re not sure of the “why," then ask. Don’t go in with a “this is not how we used to do things here” mentality, but more of a “hey, I would love to understand more about this.” Hopefully your manager will be able to provide this insight.

It’ll definitely take some time to adjust and there may be some awkward moments or misunderstandings along the way– that’s normal in any new relationship. As long as you’re willing to be open and honest about how you feel and address the situations and differences as they arise, that will hopefully ease the transition. Also remember, this person is also going through a transition and probably more so if they are new to the organization. So take your level of discomfort and amplify that to try and understand theirs as well. That’s something you share and can work on together. You’ll need to give each other the benefit of the doubt and hopefully over time learn how to work together in a way that best serves you both.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Blurred Lines

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have been criticized for overstepping my role but the organization is a huge matrix and lines are often blurred. I want to talk to my co-workers about building trust and clarifying roles but am not sure how to approach the conversation. Can you help?

Sincerely,

Stepping up without Falling Over

Dear Stepping up without Falling Over,

It seems so obvious, yet why do organizations fail to realize that a lack of clear roles and reporting lines is a recipe for disaster?! When lines are blurred it is a constant challenge to stay on course, do your job according to manager’s expectations, and develop trust with colleagues. Ideally, your organization would have defined clearer roles for everyone. Unfortunately, not all organizations have their act together! I suggest tackling the lack of clarity head on.

First, have conversations with stakeholders. Work with your supervisor(s)and colleagues to outline the concerns you all have based on your experiences. Whenever possible involve human resources and consider how your efforts will be presented to leadership. Come up with a list of concerns and possible solutions before approaching management as it may help get them on board! While you should mention your concerns, stay focused on the positive effects that clarifying roles would have, rather than the negative of the current situation. Ask your peers if they’ll join you in drafting this list—there is strength in numbers and having multiple perspectives will demonstrate the scope of the issue.

Next, work with your team and/or management to edit existing or develop new job descriptions. What was listed in the job posting before employees were hired may be a starting point, but often job descriptions were never created, or the reality has deviated a lot from the original plan. You should establish a detailed job description for each staff member that reflects what they actually do, or what the company wants them to do. This will be useful to refer to down the road if anyone veers off course. Be sure to include breakdowns of teams and how each member fits into the team. For example, you could include a description of what all team members do, then list what the team lead and secondary members each do. Job descriptions can also be used to simplify performance reviews (your manager may appreciate this!). They could also help to demonstrate the need to hire more staff once you realize what exactly everyone does and where there are gaps, or where it would make sense to divide roles differently.

A tool that many project managers use and may be helpful in this situation is a RACI chart, which for all intents and purposes is a roles and responsibilities matrix. While it typically revolves around projects, you can expand it to represent general responsibilities. RACI stands for:

Responsible
Accountable
Consulted
Informed

For every task, project, etc. in an office, someone takes on one of these roles. So for example if your organization sends a newsletter, perhaps you are responsible for creating it, your supervisor is accountable for it getting done (i.e. they don’t have to create it but if it doesn’t happen, they would get some heat), and perhaps other staff members should be consulted around content and then another group just needs to be informed that a newsletter exists and is moving forward. This is an overly simplified version but one that hopefully gets the point across and may be helpful in getting a better understanding of your team’s roles and responsibilities. This could be a great visual tool to recommend and perhaps an exercise to do together as a team.

If you can show your colleagues that you’re trying to improve things, with any luck they will appreciate your effort instead of accusing you of overstepping.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

To Travel or Not to Travel?

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 01:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have enjoyed working from home since Covid 19’s various lockdowns and the expectations of me to travel for work were one of the few benefits of the pandemic. Now that travel is resuming for holidays, I'm worried that the day is coming that travel will resume for business and for work again. I have a young family and quite enjoy being at home and not having to travel to the office or travel overseas for work. Should I start thinking of how to manage these expectations to once again travel so that I am ready when this might happen again?

Sincerely,

Happy at Home Working Mother

Dear Happy at Home Working Mother,

There seem to be two camps when it comes to traveling these days: Those that can’t wait to get back out there and get away from the places they’ve been stuck in for the past year and a half, and those that are quite content with the lack of travel and would like things to continue as they are. In your case, you have an extra layer of a young family which typically requires a bit more time, attention, and support. It’s completely understandable that you would want to limit your travel in the future. So how do we set expectations here?

I would first assess how much travel you are willing and/or able to do and second, the amount of travel your role has typically required. This second piece may be a bit more difficult to answer as we are living in a very different world now, but start with what it used to look like. Once you have that, think about how much travel you think is really necessary now? Pre-pandemic, many business trips were required as they were key to building relationships. In this post-pandemic world, however, this isn’t necessarily the case. While an in-person meeting, in my mind, will always trump a virtual one, that doesn’t mean that EVERY meeting needs to be in-person. Every organization is reimagining what business travel looks like. The ability and what’s become almost second nature of connecting virtually for many fields is making it so organizations can save not only money but also time. It’s much easier and efficient to jump on an hour-long Zoom call, than to fly for 5 hours, rent a car, spend a night at a hotel, expense meals, risk exposure to COVID, etc. for an hour-long in-person meeting. I would say you could make quite the business, financial, and health case for not traveling in certain situations.

After you have done some basic analysis, try to gauge the direction that your organization is going in. Do you think the expectation is that travel will ramp back up again? Talk to your supervisor about what they think. If the organization is really going to limit travel then that’s a good sign and will hopefully work for you. If they aren’t, however, or if they haven’t decided, it’s going to be really important to start having discussions about what you would like sooner rather than later. Explain your situation and how you would like to reduce the amount of travel. Are there practical ways to reduce travel because of the remote space we naturally find ourselves in? Perhaps another colleague is willing or even eager to take on some of that in your place. Is there a way to adjust your official role to have less travel? Perhaps now is the time to consider other roles within the organization or outside the organization if it isn’t meeting your needs. The key is having a clear understanding of what you’re willing to do, what your role entails, and to communicate with your supervisor around this. Ideally, you will be able to make a case for an adjustment and if not, then you’ll have to decide what your priorities are and potentially adjust your expectations to jumping back onto a plane.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Working with Toxic Gossip

Wed, 03 Nov 2021 22:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I know someone who is facing a problem with the return to in-person work. While everyone was remote, the teamwork on his team was amazing and the team functioned very well. Now that there is in-person work, however, he notices that unhelpful and destructive chatter has returned. It's like everyone was mission-focused while remote, but now that they are seeing each other again, the focus is sometimes on the team members/on interpersonal issues instead. Those chattering don't think they are gossiping and they don't think they are behaving in toxic ways. They think they are discussing work matters with people they trust and would reject the notion that they are engaging in toxic behaviors -- but they are. He knows he can't change others, and that lecturing his colleagues won't be productive. What can he do to improve this situation for himself and for the whole team?

Sincerely,

Don’t Want to Work with Toxicity

Dear Don’t Want to Work with Toxicity,

I’m glad you’re writing on behalf of “someone you know” but I hope you don’t mind me talking to you directly on the off chance that someone happens to be you (wink wink). No matter who is asking this question, it’s relevant to any of us who have ever had the delight of working in an office setting with other people. Let’s start with the basics. Offices are made up of human beings. Human beings are naturally social creatures. We connect and interact on multiple levels in numerous ways throughout our lives, both personally and professionally. So, it’s no wonder that sometimes the lines get blurred in personal and professional boundaries. But the pandemic laid down a clear demarcation between the two. When we entered a Zoom room at work for a meeting, it was clearly business. If you called a colleague to catch up on their latest family vacation, that was personal. Working from our little bubbles, we kept everything in the separate lanes because there were no accidental interactions.

But as you rightly point out, going back to work in person means we are jumping back into the lawless frontier of office politics. Now keep in mind, what you might be seeing at this moment is an almost frantic overload of human connection where everyone is so hungry for socializing that the balance is heavily skewed towards chatter. That will settle out eventually as we all get back into the routine of normal work behavior so perhaps a bit of patience is called for here.

That said, there is a difference between engagement with colleagues and toxic gossip-mongering. I’d like to think that as professionals we all know the difference, but that would be naïve and clearly you are witnessing this firsthand. So, here’s what I’d suggest: Jump into the fray. Trust me, I know this is not the answer you wanted, but the reality is, if you want to change the environment in your workplace to one that does not promote this kind of disruptive and damaging behavior, you’re going to have to get your hands dirty.

You’re correct that lecturing colleagues will not be effective. So instead of lecturing, join in the conversation, engage in the circles, and elevate the dialogue. When topics veer into gossip, gently suggest, in a good-natured, light-hearted way, that perhaps we don’t want to go down that road because “hey, Charlie’s a good guy deep down and it might be that he’s just really overloaded right now…” You can also jump in with suggestions for improvements like “yes, it does sometimes feel like Monique creates a real bottleneck in projects, but I don’t think she means to—I wonder if there’s a productive way we could work with her on that?” You see what’s happening here? You are being called upon to be the bigger person—to guide others away from the toxic cliff to more stable and productive ground.

If that feels like too onerous a task, then I would suggest you take the complete opposite approach and find a way to reframe the environment for yourself. Eckhart Tolle talks about situations being completely neutral, neither good nor bad. He says it is only your own thoughts about it that make it positive or negative. Perhaps this is an opportunity to hone those skills and simply remove yourself from letting it get to you, creating an environment where you simply expect the best from your colleagues, clearly communicate what you need from them, and if you don’t get it (because they are too busy gossiping) you can suggest to your supervisor or your team that a renewed focus on efficiency and productivity would be helpful.

Either way this is going to involve a choice on your part. You can’t fix other people, but you can model the behavior you’d like to see and/or you can move yourself into a Zen space where you’re not distracted or irritated by the world around you. No matter which you choose, these are life skills that need practicing but will serve you well forever.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Workplace Telephone

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 17:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have a friend who was told by her boss (the director) that certain organizational changes are coming down the pipeline - mostly a restructure of reporting lines. Next she had a candid conversation with another colleague who shared that the director had told her that a restructure of reporting lines was coming but the details of who reports to whom was different. Then she spoke with another colleague candidly who had yet a third version from the director. There are no cross-team meetings, and no general staff meetings to somehow bring these 'discrepancies' up in 'public'. What should she do?!

Sincerely,

Asking for a Friend

Dear Asking for a Friend,

Ah, a classic game of telephone: office edition! I have been there, too. I was once told that I would be appointed to take over for my boss in the interim after she resigned, while at the same time her boss was telling everyone that she was going to take over that job. In the end I was appointed, but had barely started when my new boss took over the interim role after all, despite having less context than me to do the job. It seems this was her plan all along. Two years later, we still haven’t hired someone permanent for that role, and leadership did not explain their reasoning to me. I will probably never know what went on behind the scenes and that’s what’s important to remember in a situation like this.

At this stage, it’s impossible for your friend to know what the final plan is in her office, and the truth is, leadership at this organization may also not know what the plan is. In my mind, there are at least three possibilities for the different versions of the story your friend is hearing:

The director is deliberately telling different stories as some kind of strategy to confuse employees. This seems unlikely.
The director honestly doesn't know yet what changes are going to be made so they’re throwing out ideas which are being interpreted as more of a certainty. Each employee is inserting their own interpretation and distorting the story further.
Communication is poor in the leadership team or between the director and their reports, so each staff member has a different idea of the restructuring plan. This is the most likely scenario.

With the full understanding that one may not receive clear answers, it never hurts to try to open the lines of communication. Office restructuring is nerve-wracking for everyone, so employees have a right to be concerned, and, hopefully, provide feedback on any major plans before they’re finalized. Your friend can state openly to her supervisor that she’s heard a few different things around the office and would appreciate being included in upcoming planning for restructuring. It could be that this conversation sparks better communication from the director or within the leadership team, if they realize how differently staff members are interpreting the plan. I am a strong advocate for open communication, so I hope this may help!

In the end, your friend may just need to wait to see how things shake out, and hope that next time the director will have a clearer plan before sharing it with the team.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Political Persuasions in the Workplace

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 16:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

One of my colleagues has made it widely known that she supports the former presidential administration. During the January 6 insurrection at the Capital, she expressed sympathetic views for the rioters and while she didn't directly make these comments to me, I heard from several others, which makes me increasingly uncomfortable. Should I mention anything to my manager (who is also my colleague's supervisor)?

Sincerely,

Reconciling Ideological Differences

Dear Reconciling Ideological Differences,

I imagine most Americans reading this response, and even those living outside of the U.S., have at least one or more colleagues, friends, or family members who openly support the past President Trump and his administration or some of its views. We’ve all likely had situations over the last 5+ years where we had to decide the best course of action to address ideological differences with a person we don’t know at all or that we’ve known for a long time. Some choose to end contact all together, others seek to deepen their relationship and seek greater understanding or influence, others ignore or distance themselves, and many do some combination. With this in mind, my question for you is: what is your goal in reporting your discomfort to your supervisor?

You shared that this colleague has made statements to others- not you- which show sympathy for the January 6th rioters. While you, and potentially others, are uncomfortable to know the views of your colleague, I encourage you to take a step back and take a moment to ask yourself if and how knowing her views is harmful to you or your work. How does sharing political views (regardless of the ideology) align with or in conflict with company policy and culture? Consider that the colleague may be sharing her views to gauge support from others or she may feel it’s safe to convey her beliefs knowing that the company is one that seeks to create an environment for civil discourse and include diverse perspectives and identities.

If your company has made statements or has policies which limit political discourse or behaviors which create a divisive environment then you may decide to talk with your supervisor about your concerns. You may even recommend professional training to engage colleagues in civil discourse, create intergroup dialogues, or introduce story circles. Above all, if you decide to report her, avoid demonizing the beliefs she has and stick to concerns directly about how the person is sharing political views inappropriately or creating discomfort in their discourse about polarizing issues. Do this with an understanding that your supervisor will likely do their own investigation and since you don’t have firsthand knowledge of statements made, you could end up on the wrong end of this stick. Of course, if you or others have heard this colleague make statements which are threatening or discriminatory toward others based on race, color, national origin, or sex (includes pregnancy, gender identity, or sexual orientation), then you definitely can report this behavior which is unlawful under Title VII and the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Having a visceral negative response to President Trump and his policies, especially for anyone who perceives them as in conflict with their own views, is expected. Don’t lose sight that your colleague is a whole human being and much more than just her political opinions. She, like you, has had experiences and relationships that form her current worldview. In the workplace, she, like you, is looking for relationships, to be validated, to contribute, and to create outcomes at work. Assuming an employee with different political beliefs doesn’t belong in your workplace is a problematic take and one that doesn’t bode well for a company that promotes civil discourse and differences of perspective and identities or for the stability of our country.

Having ideological differences in a workplace isn’t new. What’s relatively new is a focus many companies have to promote inclusive workplaces and welcoming cultures during a period of increasing polarity. It also likely means managers are likely fielding staff concerns like yours more often. Does being inclusive include ideological differences and welcoming civil discourse around those differences? I suggest it should. I worry about unhealthy behaviors (across all communities) being taught and learned that dehumanize individuals across our differences. I fear this puts our society, workplace teams, and families at risk due to unproductive or disruptive conflict and harmful acts (including the events of January 6th). As an international educator, my personal ideological views push me to seek greater peace through increasing understanding, reserving judgement, perspective taking, and showing compassion while also calling out behaviors which actively discriminate, create barriers, attack, or harm others. I encourage you to reflect on your own goals for working in this field and consider how you’re living out the values in your work and personal life.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Searching for Safe Partners? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Masked Up and Not Ready to Go

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 20:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I have been working remotely for 18+ months and return to a hybrid work schedule in one week and a full return to students just 1 week later. While I am excited to be back in the office because I miss valued relationships with colleagues, I am not excited to work on a college campus while the pandemic is raging in my community. My campus has experienced massive Sr. leadership turnover in 12 months and has many new hires everywhere. Pre-pandemic nearly everyone had individual offices and now, due to organizational growth and changes we are often sharing offices or working in more public "hot spot" spaces. We have a vaccine requirement to return to campus that has no teeth and a mask indoors requirement that Sr. leadership have already expressed won't remain throughout the fall. I have an unvaccinated child at home and will be welcoming international students without access to vaccines before arriving to the U.S. I am comfortable wearing my mask everywhere, requesting social distancing, or similar needs with individuals I know. I have less comfort doing this with new colleagues for fear of coming across in a negative way. I am a ball of anxiety about how I'm going to make it through another roller coaster semester and don't want my anxiousness to impact building relationships with my new colleagues. What suggestions do you have about approaching new colleagues and the situation overall?

Sincerely,

Masked Up and Not Ready to Go

Dear Masked Up and Not Ready to Go,

Going back to any kind of social environment where it is unclear who has been vaccinated and who hasn’t, or how people feel about wearing masks vs not, is something that is causing many people to be apprehensive and even fearful, myself included. This is very much uncharted territory for all of us, but keeping in mind that your safety and that of your family and those around you should be the number one priority, here are a few suggestions:

As I’m sure you know, one of the big pieces of connecting with new colleagues and building rapport is genuineness. What do you do when you normally have new colleagues? One thing would be to ask them out for one-on-one coffee, lunch, a drink, etc. (perhaps in an outdoor venue for safety reasons!) and spend some time getting to know them a bit. This will hopefully make it easier for you to bring up your concerns around safety and get a sense of where they stand on the issue and share your concerns in a way that is more natural and honest. Even if they don’t agree with you on your stance, perhaps they will be sympathetic to the fact that you have kids and be supportive in following the safety protocols.

If meeting like this doesn’t make sense because of safety concerns, then what? Well, then I would express those same concerns one-on-one but in a way that is, again, genuine, and that will maintain your professional boundaries but still get your point across. Point out that this is an awkward thing to ask or to say, if that’s how you feel, and then say it. In a work environment, hopefully, professionalism will allow people to respect their colleagues' wishes, even if they don’t agree, without causing any negative feelings. If they do react negatively, and you did everything in your ability to be calm, non-judgemental, and professional, then I would have some serious concerns about your coworkers which may go beyond their ability to respect your safety concerns.

Beyond talking to your coworkers, I would also speak to your supervisor about your concerns and see what they are willing to do to address them. If the current office climate is putting you, your children, and your fellow colleagues at risk, then this is a serious issue, especially with the now rampant Delta Variant. I’m betting you aren’t the only one feeling anxious. Maybe a survey needs to be done to do a pulse check on how people are feeling about being back in the office. Multiple voices expressing the same concerns will hopefully prompt management to do something.

Finally, if all else fails, do what you need to protect yourself. This could be anything from asking for an exemption to work from home, purchasing better masks for yourself, finding the farthest desk from people, bringing your own air purifier if one isn’t being provided, etc. Do whatever you need to be safe even if that means pissing a few people off. Your health is more important than a few bruised egos.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Masked Up and Not Ready to Go? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Struggling with Slackers

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 20:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work on a very small team that helps develop professional development coursework and programming for students. One of my colleagues is consistently late to meetings and is always dropping the ball on deadlines. When asked about why something wasn't done, they always have an excuse as to why they couldn't get to it. I've tried to put deadlines on the team calendar, remind this individual during meetings, and even spoke to my supervisor but nothing seems to work. My supervisor just gives this individual a pass and says they've had a difficult time. This not only impacts my ability to get my work done but also impacts our students and instructors who then end up with last minute changes to their activities and schedules. I'm hitting my wits end and don't know what to do.

Sincerely,

Struggling with Slackers

Dear Struggling with Slackers,

I’ll be honest. I had to consider this question for a bit and really dig deep to answer in a way that I hope will be helpful to you. I, along with everyone else in the world, havehad to navigate working with this person you describe. Have I grown in my ability to handle a challenging colleague effectively over time? Probably. Do I have a silver bullet answer for you? Certainly not. What I can do is give suggestions that, if you’re willing to deploy, may help improve the situation.

First, it is critical to thoroughly evaluate the situation. Identify to what extent the colleague’s work, missing deadlines, or lateness you referenced is directly impacting your team’s ability to meet deadlines or complete projects to the established criteria. The last thing you want to do is to be perceived as the nagging colleague to your team members because you seem unable to flex to different work styles or values within your team. For example, if the quality of work is high but the timeliness is off, focus on your own work and growth and push the other colleagues’ behaviours out of focus. You may also consider praising the colleague for the successful outcome while seeking incremental improvements on their timeliness or seek greater understanding about their work values to contextualize their behaviors.
If you’re certain their work is directly impacting your ability to do your job or succeed, then start by documenting the behaviors. This will require you to note actual situations with as much detail as possible--what the established expectations were, how this person has failed to deliver, and how it has impacted the team’s outcomes. While this is not your job, as the person that is affected most by this person’s professional behavior, you’ll need details on the actual scenarios where their performance (or lack thereof) has been most egregious and any attempts to work with them to achieve individual and team goals before speaking with them and if necessary their supervisor.
With the information you’ve documented, reach out and request a meeting with this person. Be upfront that you’re interested in talking about teamwork and opportunities you see to improve team outcomes. Set your intention for the meeting in your mind and be sure you feel calm and balanced in your approach. You won’t get anywhere if you’re accusatory and exasperated. Now more than ever, we need to consider all the things that might be contributing to this person’s lateness and propensity to make excuses for their work. Remember that everyone has challenges in their life that you know nothing about. Your job is not as judge and jury, but as a colleague who truly wants to understand why this is happening and how you can help reverse the trend. Share your list of situations that you’ve documented and how it undermines the team.
If meeting with this person doesn’t seem appropriate to the culture of your organization or realistic in providing positive outcomes, take your documentation to your supervisor and lay it out for them. Ask them to set up a meeting between the three of you to discuss these situations that keep occurring or ask your supervisor to take this up specifically with this person one on one. Although you may have raised concerns with your supervisor already, be direct with your supervisor that you would like to find a solution to this as it greatly affects your work and the work of your team. If you keep having to circle back to this, do so. Doing so doesn’t make you annoying and whiny, it makes you committed to finding solutions and supporting your team.

Ultimately, it’s time to engage with your colleague, understanding it may be perceived as confrontational no matter how hard you try for it not to be. But confrontation, done thoughtfully, can yield huge results and maybe the only thing that can. A last resort option that won’t fix the problem is to take away high priority or time-sensitive assignments from this person. As much as possible, decide as a team to simply take on the work and avoid relying on the colleague who cannot and will not deliver. If asked, tell this person that it seems like they have a lot on their plate and you're taking on the additional workload temporarily. Again, this is not a long-term fix, but it may help you advance the situation towards a resolution. Most of all, it might help you regain some of your wits!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Finding On-Site Partners

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 20:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I'm trying to find trusted in-country providers and tour guides with whom I can partner, but I honestly don't even know where to look or how I know I can trust their services (and the price quotes they give me). I don't want to go through an American or other foreign company to get to the local providers, but how do you know who you can trust? Is there anyone else out there who has built their business from the ground up and wondered who they can trust? Does anyone who has searched for local providers before have any wisdom for someone starting out? Help!

Sincerely,

Searching for Safe Partners

Dear Searching for Safe Partners,

This is where networking becomes a very important tool! You mention trust, and starting with people in your personal network, or another trusted network, can get you moving with much more confidence than starting from scratch.

Reach out to anyone you know who runs programs in your target location or is locally based such as local university partners, friends, colleagues, etc. Ask if they have on-site partners or US-based providers they’d recommend. Provider services may be invaluable if you’re building a program from the ground up, and costs vary, so don’t discount them until you’ve talked to your network and have done a few price comparisons. In weighing pros and cons of using different providers, in addition to cost, consider things like what they include in their packages, reputation in the industry and locally, how long they have been around, whether they include things like liability insurance, what their emergency protocols are, whether they work with institutions such as yours regularly, etc. There are a lot of things to consider and you may not know what they are until you’ve spoken to a few folks. That’s completely ok!

If you don’t know anyone who runs a similar program, you can search online for other US institutions that do. Program web pages usually show up in Google searches, along with contact information. Reach out to explain your situation and ask for an honest review of their on-site partner or US-based provider--have they had a positive experience with them so far? How do their prices compare to other providers? Although study abroad staff are usually busy, they are often willing to help out a fellow professional who needs advice. Similarly, look up local providers directly online. Many organizations will have reviews and ratings online that you can look into. If you see an organization that seems to be a good fit, call them and ask them for references and documentation and carefully check all of these. Ask colleagues, in-country or in the US, if they’ve heard of the organization. While it may be more of a risk, sometimes you can find an organization that isn’t as well known State-side, but is locally, that is a great fit. If your institution is one in which familiarization trips are common prior to starting new programs, then you can add a few organizations to that list to check out when you are in-country. Now, this may not be a luxury your office has, in which case, you will really have to rely on your research and references. When it comes down to making a decision, make sure you have a few options to compare. You’ll find comparisons between providers will give you insight into what you should be getting for what you’re paying and ways to negotiate price as well as what they are offering in services. Remember you get what you pay for! Cheaper isn’t always better but you also don’t want to be overpaying for services you don’t need.

If your Google search is fruitless, or even if you find a few potential options, you can post a request for help on SECUSS-L, a national listserv dedicated to the discussion of education abroad, with a reach of 7500+ members. Readers who have advice can reply to your email. I have used this tool many times in my career, and find it a great way to access sometimes obscure information! You might also consider posting a request on a discussion board for your local NAFSA region.

Best of luck getting started!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Leadership Vacuum

Thu, 05 Aug 2021 01:19:36 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I work as a manager but sometimes feel I am more of a leader than my boss. On paper, they have the leadership duties, but since I have more experience and context with the day-to-day operations and their primary role is quite different, I end up doing most of the work. They are often unwilling to learn new things they should know for their role and sometimes fail to prioritize key responsibilities to our office since they are busy and their main interests are elsewhere. I am trying to be a leader, but since I am juggling so much, in the end it feels like we have no leader. Do you have any suggestions for “managing up?"

Sincerely,

In a Leadership Vacuum

Dear In a Leadership in a Vacuum,

Being in a position where you feel the work you are doing to keep a unit and projects functioning isn’t valued, or even noticed, by your manager is hard. It is essential and often not easy, for your day to day sanity and your career, to develop and maintain an effective and productive working relationship with your manager. This requires a relationship where you trust the individual is interested in your work and development as much as their own. Reflect on the saying, “employees don’t leave companies, they leave their manager.”

You’ve shared that your manager’s focus is not on the operations you lead for your unit nor prioritizing understanding or learning key aspects of your office. While you find this frustrating because you seek more involvement from them as a leader during these uncertain times, I encourage you to re-frame this in your mind and consider how your current state is freeing. You’re not being micromanaged which likely means your manager trusts you and your work.

I see an opportunity to manage up, or figure out how to capitalize on the traits of your manager to help you perform your best and demonstrate your value to them and your organization. There is no one size fits all formula to manage up. Test out some new strategies considering the aspects below:

Know your manager’s style

Have you ever taken notes on or sought clarity from your supervisor about their preferred operating style? This is key to identifying what you may need to adapt, and it might help you understand better how you can work within that context while still growing and expanding your skills. How does your supervisor communicate, what are their preferred channels, what have they shared about their needs and expectations of you and your unit? You may need to call upon active listening to read into your conversations if they are not direct in their communication with you.

Humanize your manager

Your supervisor is human with strengths and weaknesses. You’ll find that being authentic, honest, and caring with your supervisor can go a long way to developing a deeper connection. If you’re not clear about their goals, expectations, or aspirations then find ways to ask for clarity that stress how your desire is to exceed their expectations and limit any additional time or resources they may need to spend down the road as a result of a lack of clarity. Also consider that matching the tone, language, and terms you hear from your manager can help you to be heard by your manager.

Share feedback and seek support

Give positive feedback to reinforce things you’d like to see more of and try to remain calm and productive when stress is high for either of you. Convey that you appreciate autonomy, and you're concerned because you want to keep things running smoothly and are seeking their direction. Ask for their insight on organizational issues they see from their vantage point and let them know you’ll use this information to prioritize and decide what can take a back seat. You also might decide to share that you desire more mentorship to increase confidence with the uncertainty that is so prevalent in your work and ask for suggestions of leaders they have worked with.

Convey your technical skills, results, and future plans

You seem to be handling the day to day operations with little involvement from your manager. How often do you update your manager to highlight the unit work that is getting done, under your leadership, without their supervision? Where are the opportunities to talk about the unit goals, achievements, convey outcomes, and solutions to problems you’d like their input on? Managing up results in your supervisor seeing you as an indispensable member of their team.

Ultimately, a big part of making it work with your supervisor is recognizing we all see our work and that of our colleagues through our own lens. The manager may benefit from a stronger relationship with you to help them see some things they have not previously, and my guess is you too may benefit from the same.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for In A Leadership Vacuum? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Career Pathways Without Managing People

Wed, 21 Jul 2021 14:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

How do I further my career & leadership possibilities when I don't specifically want to manage people?

Sincerely,

Advancement Without Managing People

Dear Advancement Without Managing People,

I commend you on your self awareness. Acknowledging that your aspirations for advancing your career do not involve managing people is going to save you, and likely the people you would manage, from unnecessary frustration. While managing people may be the most common track for increasing professional responsibilities or advancement in a career, it is not the only track. If more managers pushed themselves to reflect on the reasons they pursue a management position which requires supervision, I expect teams in every industry would be way better off! Although you didn’t share why you aren’t interested in managing people, I assume it is likely because your skills, confidence, or passions don’t lie in navigating people dynamics or managing other people’s goals. Instead you likely perceive yourself as a doer who excels at managing your projects and tasks, seeks to launch new ideas, and thrives as a content expert, and establishes a reputation that extends beyond your team or company. Are you comfortable training others, developing strategy, managing projects, or promoting your knowledge and skills as a consultant or influencer? If any or all of these things are more enticing than managing people to reach their goals, you are already well on your way to having the right conditions for advancing your career without supervisory responsibilities.

An important step to take is to talk early with your current manager. Work together to develop an individual plan for growth in the company. Be explicit about seeking opportunities to grow your responsibilities and develop as a company leader without supervision. Spell out what you think you excel at currently or where you aspire to be a recognized expert. Don’t be afraid to seek support from your manager to consider gaps so you can focus where you increase your expertise. An example may be to propose a compliance area or an innovative program idea you can take responsibility to master and then demonstrate your skills through training others to build capacity or mitigate risk. Don’t miss any opportunities to emphasize how your expertise, influence, or reputation helps the company achieve goals and support the overall mission. You may decide that additional value and career progression makes it necessary to leave your current organization after a period of time and pursue work at a larger company or pursue work as a consultant or independent contractor. Ultimately, the path you choose to advance may not be as clear as you’d like right now but hopefully after some deeper exploration and discussions with your manager you can begin to map out the road ahead.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Lilly? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Is This Personal or Professional?

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 19:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I want to be supportive of my staff. I care about them as people and I am interested in them, but it seems like we are more friends than professional colleagues. When it's time for performance reviews (now!), I find it so hard to be objective and not let our personal relationships influence how I review them. I justify it to myself by thinking of the wonderful things they do, and they do many wonderful things, but I know in the back of my mind that they (and I) can always grow and there are things they could do better...but it feels like they will be hurt if I tell them openly and especially during performance review time. Help me separate personal relationships from the professional, and change my relationships with my team so that I can better fulfill my obligations to our organization.

Help Me Rhonda

Dear Help Me Rhonda,

You’ve touched on a sticky issue that almost all managers will have to face at some point in their career. While giving feedback may never be easy for you, I assure you that taking steps to shift your own mindset and taking steps to shift the mindset of your team to look at feedback as a gift can forever change how you prepare for a performance review with every type of colleague (friend or not). Once you choose to regularly welcome and collect feedback, you model for your team what is often a missed opportunity to gather data from others that is necessary to grow. Unfortunately, performance reviews tend to be a single annual event where supervisors are expected to evaluate an individual’s performance and goal attainment. The anxiety that comes from this time of year is definitely a reflection of our mindset about giving and receiving feedback. In addition to shifting our mindsets about feedback, there are several ways to preserve friendships with colleagues while not compromising your professional responsibilities.

Let’s start with the most basic rule of any relationship you have with anyone anywhere: effective communication. We all know that resolving any human relationship issue starts and ends with communication. As the manager, it’s your job to communicate in a respectful and clear manner referring to behaviors and actions, not personality. This is especially necessary with employees you're most worried about. Be honest and be explicit about your responsibilities as a manager at your company. Tell them you recognize giving constructive and positive feedback could make for some awkward space within your relationship when feedback is perceived in a negative way. Be willing to hear their concerns about this and be open with your own. This will help them recognize the tricky spot you’re in as well as allowing you to hear any of their worries about the relationship dynamic.

On the heels of communication comes setting expectations. To remove the personal from the professional as much as possible, be clear about the things you will be assessing in the reviews with all of your employees equally. When giving feedback, consider how you're highlighting the positive and pointing out areas of needed improvement, think about the manner in which you would want a friend to judge your performance. Try couching the comments in ways that are supportive such as, “We are having issues with follow-through in our department. How do you feel you perform in this area? Are there things that we could adjust to make it easier for you to feel successful in this area?” Reviews are a great way to share feedback you’ve noticed, and also ask employees to be self-critical. What areas do they feel they can improve upon? Chances are these will overlap with the things you’ve noticed, and you can then help support them in meeting these new goals.

And don’t be afraid to add in lightness and humor. If it starts to get sticky because you need to address something they’re not seeing, remember this is a person who trusts you. Your trusting relationship can help you to say “you and I both know things get tough for the team when everyone isn’t following through on their commitments, and I see you're overloaded at times. What can I or other members of our team do to help?” An advantage of knowing your staff well on a personal level is that you likely have a better idea how to provide feedback in a way that they’ll understand and feel that it comes from a place of care and not criticism. Your friendships will help you customize your approach to management.

There are other things to consider as you move from friend and manager so that you are keeping a balanced approach to your work and not showing favoritism in the office. As a manager, it’s important that all of your employees can trust you to be fair and just. For example, if you socialize with certain colleagues outside of work, keep your social media about those activities to a minimum. When it’s lunchtime and you’re headed out, invite all of your colleagues to go along, not just the ones who are your friends. It may not be as fun, but as a manager you have responsibilities beyond your work friendships and those need to come first. The bright side is that you have friends at work and that should be celebrated. You don’t have to forfeit those relationships at work. In fact, if you’re honest and fair, those relationships will only get stronger.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

Not-So-Hands-On Management

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 22:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I'm a mid-career professional that has spent so many years striving to "get to" a leadership role that I'm not facing one bit of culture shock in turning my talents to leading others. I'm very motivated and don't need a lot of check-ins with my own boss, so my struggle in particular is managing others who need more of a hands-on approach. What are some strategies? Do you have any suggested readings?

Sincerely,

Lilly the New Leader

Dear Lilly,

Congratulations on landing the leadership position you’ve worked toward! Leadership roles can be quite rewarding, but managing others is a challenge, especially when they have a different learning or work style than you. Since every individual has their own way of thinking and approaching relationships with colleagues and managers, you will need to adapt your management style for each person you lead. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Check with HR at your organization to see if they provide any management training. Many large organizations and universities offer management courses and certificate programs through HR. You may also find management courses through continuing education departments at your local university or online. Working through scenarios and chatting with other managers in your class can help give you insight and allow you to get used to different management techniques. In particular, you might look for courses on professional coaching, a technique that may help you empower your employees to do more with less involvement from you.

Although you should strive to be fair, you don’t need to manage everyone exactly the same way. Feel free to schedule more one-on-one time with your employees who need a hands-on approach, and less time for those who don’t. When onboarding new employees, ask how they learn best and how they prefer to work with management. You can explain your management style and preferences, but let them know you’ll do your best to meet their needs. Be sure to continually evaluate how things are going and adjust as needed. It may be wise to schedule more frequent check-ins at first, then reduce them later if they don’t seem necessary.

There are many excellent books on management out there, so browse to see what might best help you learn about your situations. Here are a few I’ve found to be helpful:

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

The One Minute Manager

The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

It sounds like you’re motivated, so I’m confident you’ll use all your resources. Managing people may never be easy, but keep learning and you’ll feel like a seasoned leader in no time!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

New Coworkers, New Challenges

Wed, 09 Jun 2021 13:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

How do I deal with being new in an environment where everyone else has known each other for decades and are not receptive to newcomers or change?

Sincerely,

Transplanted Wanderer

Dear Transplanted Wanderer,

A new job is a huge transition and can be very overwhelming especially if you aren’t feeling welcomed into the new environment. As a newcomer, it is easy to conclude that team members aren’t open to change when they’ve worked together for many years. Learning a new role and office dynamics with colleagues that are seemingly cliquey and not open to new people or ideas makes the adjustment to a new environment considerably harder. Let’s talk through what you can consider doing in this situation.

First, you were hired because of your skills and anticipated contributions to the work and team. Don’t lose sight of this and recognize that showing an openness to learn and curiosity to understand the new people and environment is a starting point to connect with team members. How you are perceived by the team contributes to how successful you’ll be in contributing new ideas and encouraging innovation.

Have you considered reaching out to your colleagues to set up 1:1 chats? It can be easier to get to know someone one-on-one. Schedule time with new colleagues to get coffee or lunch and get to know each other. Ask them about their role, what they enjoy most about their colleagues, how specifically you’ll work with or support them, and any tips they have for a newcomer to the team. Your supervisor should also support your onboarding by sharing a list of critical partners and connecting you to people. This will help build your professional network as well as rapport and trust with your colleagues. Be prepared to share information about yourself that will help you build connections. This can include what drew you to working in this role, something you really excel at, or something you’re eager to put into action in the new role.

Establishing initial trust and rapport will hopefully open these colleagues to your ideas. If not, when it comes to making changes, start small. I can see someone being turned off if they’ve been at an organization for decades and the newbie is (they feel) one-upping them or trying to bring about sudden change without knowing the history of the organization. I’m not saying you shouldn’t make suggestions--just be cognizant of how you come off, who’s in the room, and understanding/giving value to the history (easier said than done, I know!). Maybe there is old animosity somewhere that is making it harder for people to accept you. Sometimes when I’m not sure, I bring up suggestions to my supervisor first and get their perspective about whether it makes sense to bring something up to the larger group. Your supervisor is hopefully someone you can go to for tips and support in general. Oh, the messes I would have unknowingly walked into if I hadn’t had those conversations beforehand!

If, after a few months, despite your best efforts in trying to build rapport and asking for support, you still feel left out and not heard, then ask yourself: Is this interfering with you doing your job? If it is, then it's a problem that needs to be addressed with management. If it’s not getting in the way of your work, do you need to feel connected to your colleagues in order to be happy? Or, are you OK doing the work and then logging off to your own social support systems and fulfilling life outside of this job? I know colleagues that work 9-5, pick up their paycheck, and then go home to their social network and hobbies. They are as cordial as necessary with their colleagues and nothing more. While others, yours truly included, can’t work in a place without a community that listens to and appreciates them. Ask yourself these questions and if you find yourself struggling, maybe at the end of the day this job isn’t the best fit for you. You need to decide what is best for you.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Transplanted Wanderer? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Addressing Flexibility Frustrations with Colleagues

Wed, 19 May 2021 17:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I am currently working full time and during lockdowns am caring for my family also, which means I have to be flexible with work. Whilst overall work colleagues have been hugely supportive, I am working with some colleagues that cannot facilitate my need to connect out of normal office hours. There is no flexibility being offered for the fact I need to work evenings and weekends as I am caring for family during the day for the most part. Whilst I respect their need to have free time in evenings and weekends, I am also challenged with trying to carve out time during the day. I have been trying to meet them in the middle but it seems there is no room for flexibility here. We are working on group projects so communication and meeting halfway is key but no give.

Sincerely,

Homeschooling Working Mother

Dear Homeschooling Working Mother,

Your situation highlights how WFH and motherhood during a pandemic with homeschooled kids mix like oil and water without interventions to help the ingredients to blend together. Ask a working mother and you may hear their company has continued business as normal throughout the pandemic without necessarily promoting flexible work policies and extending grace to millions of working parents, specifically women, which may not be surprising when men hold a majority of executive leadership and manager positions (62%). While many companies are working toward better policies, the current circumstances are unchartered territory and there just isn’t a well established road map. To find a middle ground with your colleagues, I first suggest coalition building with other WFH parents at your company. Leverage the power of numbers when you advocate for a call to action with your HR department or manager to promote existing or new flexible work policies. Most global companies already have a considerable amount of flexibility in the work day to meet the demands of working across time-zones. Compile a few examples of flexwork policies as this will provide management a starting point to expand on policies. Overwhelmingly, flexible work policies (job sharing, meeting-free blocks, compressed work weeks, flexible working hours, etc.) improve the workplace for ALL employees across all demographics because they give employees the power to manage their time. Meeting employees where they are and ensuring an inclusive workplace is not too much to demand. In the end, your efforts will impact both your employee experience and that of your colleagues.

Keeping all this in mind, many people who work during the traditional 9-5 pm block may not want to work evenings and weekends because for them it’s part of their work-life balance. So asking someone who has established these boundaries for their own mental health to shift their hours may not be received as reasonable. If a meeting is scheduled well in advance and occurs just once or twice, then colleagues may be more likely to accommodate. But if it’s a regular request, then I can see why it would be met with resistance. In this case, while management is considering your request for more flexibility, be open with your colleagues about your situation and see if they are occasionally willing to make an exception to their work hours. They may not fully be aware of what you’re dealing with. In addition, if they are unable to accomodate alternate times and, quite frankly, even if they are, then explain that you may have the occasional screaming child you have to attend to during a meeting. This is your current reality and your colleagues should be understanding of that. It’s also important to evaluate if meetings are really essential and add value to the desired outcomes. Are there different or creative ways you and your colleagues can work together? Consider using tools like Slack, Google Docs, Sheets, and Presentations that allow multiple people to provide feedback and work on projects together at the same time. Everyone is so Zoomed out at this point, I’m betting if you suggest fewer meetings and more online collaboration, it’ll be a blessing in disguise for most including yourself! Think about it. Your colleagues may even have other solutions.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Homeschooling Working Mother? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Preparing for the Post-Pandemic Office

Wed, 05 May 2021 15:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

Working remotely is great for so many reasons. It can also be tough to stay connected to the home office and colleagues, and truly be/feel part of a "team." How can I help my manager/director make the best decision possible post-COVID for new office policies? Are there any guides you can offer or questions to consider? I am trying to be a good employee and think about what would help my boss pitch this to her boss!

Sincerely,

Pajama-Clad in Pittsburg

Dear Pajama-Clad in Pittsburg,

First, congratulatulations on taking the initiative on this important topic! Now’s the time to begin working on a plan, but this is uncharted territory which can make it feel like both a grand opportunity and a daunting task. But getting started is often the hardest part so let’s jump in.

Things will never return completely to the way they were and that’s a good thing. This is an opportunity for managers to re-engage teams and re-imagine the workplace. You are on the right path in starting this process and supporting your manager in these transitions. So share your ideas with your manager and let them know you’re willing to help if needed.

Your manager can start by assessing your organizational chart and deciding if the right people are doing the right jobs. The last year has changed the way we work, along with many job descriptions. Now is a great time to make sure the team is the right group doing the right tasks. Next, do a survey of staff work styles, perhaps as a casual conversation over Zoom, or via formal survey. Many people love working from home, but many do not, and many more like a hybrid. Help your manager get a sense of where your workforce lands on that scale. Keep in mind most children will go back to school so most parents will no longer be home-schooling and working at the same time. Therefore, it’s likely okay to require standard working hours even for those working remotely. Maybe your manager is fine with people setting their own schedules but make sure that whatever the policy is, be sure it is set with consistency and clarity.

Next, your manager should map out roles and responsibilities within your company and note the jobs that require more on-site time and the ones that don’t. Are the people that want to work remotely the ones whose tasks are suited to that? If not, return to the organizational chart. Consider the challenges that have been most acute over the past year: are they a result of remote work or are they symptoms of other concerns that need to be addressed?

There’s also the question of office infrastructure. Once there’s a plan for where everyone will be working, consider the physical office space. Do you still need that many desks? Would a more open, shared space promote productivity and be useful for hybrid workers? Do you have adequate audio-visual equipment to accommodate meetings with a group in the room and a group off-site? These may seem like potentially expensive considerations but your goal is a healthy, happy workforce with optimum productivity so this investment may have significant payout over time.

Finally, your manager should continue thinking about the physical and mental health of staff as you make these transitions. Clear communication as to what changes will be made, along with when and why, will help ease the tension of rolling out a new model. Evolutions of this plan may need to happen and that’s OK--staff should know that management is open to feedback. It’s also worth thinking about ways to support staff down the road after the initial transition has been made and a natural cadence is underway. Is there one day a month when everyone is on site and you have lunch together? Are there professional development opportunities that bring pods of people together in person? How about group volunteering in the community? There are many suggestions online to support this exploration so factor it into your planning.

This is only a start but you’re on the right path just by asking the question. How your company handles this recovery phase will be recognized by staff, clients, vendors, investors, supporters, and partners. For that and so many other reasons, it’s worth doing well.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Pajama-Clad in Pittsburg? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Seeking Support for Potential Career Transition

Thu, 22 Apr 2021 02:29:56 GMT

Dear Sophia,

The Covid-19 pandemic hit us like the hammer of Thor in 2020, pummeling us from every direction and ultimately affecting our financial life. Where do I go from here? How can I reinvent myself? Do I nurture only my strengths or build upon my weaknesses? The fear of failure in a career transition is very real. I want to be happy in my choice of employment but in a pandemic, following your passion does not guarantee profitability. Relocation seems almost a certainty to land the perfect job. How can I truly trust the long-distance move (once found) will work out? I know that with failure comes inevitable growth. I do not want a career transition to be paralyzing. I am an educated woman with many talents! I volunteer locally. I extend myself on social media platforms and online groups. The fear of the unknown is real. I ask myself: (a) Don't they see my talents? (b) Where is that perfect job? (c) Do I need to relocate to find my next employer? (d) What am I doing wrong? (e) Am I doing enough?

Sincerely,

Slowly Sinking

Dear Slowly Sinking,

The pandemic has, indeed, been a pummeling experience! I can’t name one friend who felt totally prepared or anyone who didn’t want to jump off the roller coaster ride at some point. It’s understandable why imagining a career transition strikes you with fear of failure. You’ve already identified you have lots of talents, education, and networks at your disposal. To minimize getting overwhelmed, let’s break this down into some bite size pieces:

Write down your priorities. What do you want most in a new job? Is relocation really necessary? Can you widen your search to include more types of positions in your current area? We have the pandemic to thank for more fully remote positions so be sure to consider this option too. I suggest focusing on a defined geographic area and remote positions first and dedicating more energy to identify transferable skills desirable in a wide variety of positions. Focus less on looking for the “perfect” job and more on the skills and talents you bring or can learn in a new role.
What’s a potential timeline you are working with? Do you need a new job now, or do you have time to explore? If you need a new job quickly, then move to tailor your resume, LinkedIn profile and endorsements, and/or personal website to highlight your accomplishments and transferable skills. If you have more time, review several resources like books or podcasts centered on the topic of career alignment and transitions. Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans is a book I really liked. It teaches design thinking to use “prototypes” and test them to build a career and life that works for you. Don’t forget the Global Leadership League’s Career Connections matches League members to explore and discuss career paths. Never forget the power of asking your friends or colleagues for insight--they might have perspective on your skills or personality that you can’t easily see.
Does the perfect job really exist? It’s tempting to seek certainty that a job change will match your expectations. Stay focused on the knowledge you did your research to match your skills and capacity for growth, align the new role with your values, understand the organizational culture, etc., and you’ve made a well informed decision. If the new position doesn’t work out you’ve no doubt learned new skills, and built new networks that position you for the next opportunity. Don’t be afraid--once you clear the hurdle of preparing for a job change you can get excited to reinvent yourself!
How can you demonstrate your talents to potential employers? Once you’ve identified some possible new employers, use your network to request an informational interview to ask questions and share about you and your talents in 15-20 minute conversations. Informational interviews give you exposure in the hidden job market, boost self-esteem, and prepare for a future job interview.

Try to look at the steps above like exercises that will define your muscles by increasing your self-confidence and gearing you up for what’s next. Eventually life will begin to feel “normal” again thanks in part to the vaccinations and the resumption of some of our pre-pandemic routines. Before getting too settled, consider the suggestions above. In my experience, the exploration will continue to serve you well no matter what is going on in the world.

Confidentiality yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post have to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Slowly Sinking? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Gender Diversity but not Equality

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 13:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I am often invited to meetings because I am a senior woman - the organization believes in gender diversity in committees, councils etc. However, that does not mean there is equality in discussion. When I am in a meeting with mostly men (particularly faculty) there is rarely a way to get a word in. Sometimes they take over the conversation and only when they have exhausted all of their breath do they stop and ask the women around the table if we have any last words. Meaning, we feel like we are expected to be quiet until summoned or we have to somehow insert ourselves which ruffles feathers. And, if we try to disagree or add a new perspective, we have to be forceful/dramatic with our words to be heard. How does one interrupt or interject in these situations without being seen as a bully or disrupter?

Sincerely,

Keeping Quiet... but Not For Long

Dear Keeping Quiet... but Not For Long,

Taylor Swift wasn’t lying when she said “I'm so sick of running as fast I can, Wondering if I'd get there quicker If I was a man.” Let me tell you, we all feel it. And for those that need facts, research confirms that women continue to be silenced or consistently interrupted in the workplace. In addition, women are very often perceived negatively for doing things that are praised in men. If a man interrupts and speaks up, he’s confident. If a woman does the same, she’s aggressive. This is completely ridiculous, but a part of the hypocrisy rooted in systemic issues that need to be addressed if the organization is seeking a culture of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. So knowing that it's not all in your head, what can you do?

First, recognize that you have authority. You wouldn’t be in the position you are in if you weren’t smart, resourceful, committed, and powerful. You may not feel like you’re these things in situations like the one you’ve described, but don’t let anyone take away your power! Own it.

Second, have you pointed out the issues of inclusion of women to leadership? It’s not fun and the men in the room will probably get uncomfortable and potentially defensive, but it's important to do. Change needs to come from the top down and if you have some level of authority, use it. Consider building this into larger scale strategic initiatives for the organization. I’m going to sound like a broken record when I say this, but trainings on unconscious bias and DEI make a difference if the organization is fully behind them.

If the above all sounds too tough or too slow for you right now, that’s okay. Here are a few things you can start doing immediately:

Don’t wait for the men in the room to ask you to speak, just do it. We are conditioned to be polite and to wait our turn but speaking up doesn’t mean you are or need to be rude. For example, when you get the opportunity, say something like, “Great suggestion, Chad. That brings me to my point...” This will naturally give you space to speak. Do the research, come prepared, and create the opportunity to be heard.
Support other women. Build a shared understanding with the other women in the office. If a female colleague is speaking and she gets interrupted, step in by saying, “Sorry, Maya, you were saying...” Or, if you see another female colleague hasn’t had an opportunity to speak, ask them directly what their opinion is. Give them the floor. Create a culture where everyone has their voice heard by supporting each other. There is power in numbers.

Build male allyship. Share your experience with the men in the office. Have them join your efforts to bring about change. I hate to say it, but the men that are perpetuating these biases will most likely listen to other men more than other women, so use that to your advantage. It can feel exhausting to have to teach others all the time, but if you have men in your office that are open to having the conversation and change, then allow them to do so.

Remember, it will take time for these things to change but don’t worry about feeling like you’re interrupting. Interrupt. Have your voice be heard! Own your power. You have a seat at the table that another woman may not. Use it!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Keeping Quiet... but Not For Long? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

The Time is Now to Tackle Those Frustrations

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 13:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

As I fully appreciate the toll that COVID-19 has taken on global education and the overall economy, I am grateful every day to have maintained a job, a routine and structure throughout this challenging time. I am reluctant to object to any additional responsibilities that have come my way as a result of our current crisis, but I am currently overwhelmed with covering the responsibilities of a staff position we could not backfill, in addition to my own role. Management continues to set expectations that I take on new challenges and growth-oriented tasks as if these were "normal" times. I have reached a limit and do not know how or whether I should push back for fear of appearing unappreciative or not a "team player" while we are all challenged to do more with less right now. Is this something I should address, given the situation we are currently in?

Sincerely,

Over-employed and Under-appreciated

Dear Over-employed and Under-appreciated,

First of all, kudos to you for starting your question with a gratitude check! Particularly in times like these, recognizing what you do have is essential, even though it might not be perfect. Second, I’m here to tell you you’re among friends. I know many professionals who are in this same situation. And while that may not seem comforting, it at least means you’re not alone in your struggle. So let’s dive in.

Let me state right away that I see no reason to suffer in silence in the workplace. It doesn’t serve you, and it certainly doesn’t serve the organization. I hear you loud and clear about not wanting to appear as the unappreciative anti-team-player, and complaining about feeling put-upon and overextended can very quickly hurl you into that camp. So here are a couple of suggestions you might want to consider:

Think about solutions you could offer up. What are some things that, despite the current COVID-induced limitations, could provide relief? When something isn’t working, it’s generally better to say, “hey, this isn’t working and here are some changes that I think could help” versus “I’m overwhelmed and frustrated and I just can’t do it anymore.” Are there other co-workers who could help you brainstorm possible fixes to this problem? Be specific in outlining creative ideas. Even if you learn that these ideas aren’t possible to implement right now, you’ve opened the door to a thoughtful and progressive conversation - one that shares your concerns and demonstrates how much of a team player you actually are.
The tried-and-true Golden Rule. If you were a manager at your organization and you too were feeling overwhelmed with the demands of the job right now (probably true), how would you want to be made aware of a staff member’s concerns? What would make you feel compelled to validate their position and help them with solutions? Chances are, your boss isn’t aware of all the pressure that is landing on you. And if they are aware, then all the more reason to share that you want to give this organization your best but you’re in danger of not being able to. This could shed important light on the balance within the whole organization that needs to be addressed so it can thrive when “normalcy” returns.

I don’t need to tell you what happens when you let yourself down by ignoring self-care and taking up martyrdom. You and your organization will lose on every front. People who are capable, nimble, and responsive are always the ones who get piled upon because they can be counted on and they’re good at what they do, especially in times of crisis. So take that as a compliment, and then set your limits with grace and clarity. Thank your management team for trusting you and giving you these opportunities, and then outline where you’d like to find alternatives. It may not happen overnight, but you will have set the ball in motion.

Finally, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: There will always be a reason not to address your concerns and it will never be the right time. As humans we are highly skilled at avoiding perceived conflict, not rocking the boat. So COVID is only one of hundreds of excuses we have for waiting to tackle that escalating issue. While these times are unprecedented and perhaps, we do need to remain more gentle and patient with ourselves and others, that doesn’t exclude improving a failing situation. You have what it takes, and you deserve to regain your balance at work. I’m with you all the way!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Over-employed and Under-appreciated? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself? Ask here!

It’s Not Too Late to Negotiate!

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 14:30:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I am a relative newcomer to the field and - like many just starting out - took a position I was somewhat overqualified for just before the pandemic hit, in order to make ends meet. Because of all the craziness, I've had the opportunity to take on far more responsibilities than I was originally hired for - which I'm thrilled about - but my compensation and title have not changed accordingly. The middle of a pandemic (in which people were being laid off/furloughed left and right) didn't seem like the best time to ask for a raise, but months down the road I wonder if I should have done so as soon as I was approached to take on these new roles. Did I miss my opportunity? If not, when is a good time to ask for proper compensation for the jobs I'm already doing? Any insight - especially from managers - would be greatly appreciated!

Sincerely,

Pandemic Pushover

Dear Pandemic Pushover,

Great news, you’ve highlighted something I’ve also noticed recently: some of us are finally in a place where we have the perspective and capacity to look objectively at our work and lives. We know that clarifying long-term expectations about pay or title before taking on new responsibilities is ideal, but not always realistic. Fortunately, it’s never “too late” to review responsibilities with your supervisor and work to establish an appropriate pay or title change.

Speaking of, when was the last time you looked at your job description? Please, tell me you’ve had a 6-month or an annual performance review. While financial outlook may not be great, managers know that replacing an employee costs money and I bet yours knows you’d be able to find a job elsewhere. No one is a better advocate for you than you! Make a formal performance evaluation happen first. Once you have detailed performance feedback from your supervisor, you’ll have the foundation for your negotiation.

A survey I read reported 43 percent of respondents negotiated their salary in their current field, and 75 percent of those who asked received some sort of a raise. The gains from any small salary increase snowball over time. It’s worth your time to try! Negotiation is a lost art that requires practice to become a habit. Here are some thoughts on what you can do:

Preparation, evidence, and professionalism are essential. Look over your job description and write out your responsibilities; include those extra responsibilities you’ve been doing. Also include accomplishments and contributions noting the impact at the unit and the institutional level. Highlight the mission-critical activities and any specialized skills or knowledge you have, especially those that went beyond the minimum and preferred qualifications.

How critical is the extra work you’re doing? Ask yourself, if I’m not doing X, Y, and Z who would be? Then compare the scope of your responsibilities to other positions within the organization. Is this list public at your organization? If not, talk to colleagues in similarly situated roles and a few holding a higher title to compare. Were you hired without a supervisory role and are now supervising students, interns, or professional staff? What are the titles of the employees at your organization who supervise? By looking at your own work but also comparing your work scope to others with higher titles you will help to make the case for a compensation review or a change in title (or ideally both)!

Clearly demonstrating your contributions during a time of limited human resources should result in you being taken seriously. Don’t forget to time your request well and state up front that you’d like to discuss your goals and future with the organization. During the meeting, be direct about your desire to grow in the company and be clear you are seeking for your pay and title to align with your work. Once you see the results, you’ll become more comfortable establishing clear expectations about your job and making negotiation a priority.

Be prepared to be told no AND don’t let your supervisor off the hook entirely. Ask if anything can be done outside of salary or title, and get their ideas for improving in your current role and positioning yourself well for the next. Decent managers who recognize the value of employees like you want to find solutions. With diligence, you can work toward a promotion even if you can’t get it right away.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Pandemic Pushover? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

*Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

It Feels Like the World is Falling Apart

Wed, 27 Jan 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I’ve never connected with the League before. It’s a new year and I’m trying to establish some new self-care routines but I’m at a loss. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I see others around me in the workplace seemingly going on with their day-to-day. How am I supposed to go about my daily work when it feels like the world is falling apart?

Sincerely,

Overwhelmed and Unmotivated

Dear Overwhelmed and Unmotivated,

You mean 2021 didn’t fix all of our problems?! Grab a drink, this could be a long conversation! First, let’s acknowledge how you’re feeling. The world is a bit of a dumpster fire right now and I would be worried about you if you weren’t feeling overwhelmed. On top of our individual life stressors, we’re all living with a pandemic along with political and economic instability. Even writing this is starting to stress me out, but behind this computer screen you can’t see that.

This brings me to my second point. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean others around you aren’t feeling it. We all express ourselves differently. Use social media as an example. Do you really think all of the people who are posting pictures of how much fun they’re having are happy ALL THE TIME? Nope. They project an image of themselves for the world. We all do this. Your coworkers are doing this. A part of this is because we’ve been conditioned to separate our emotions from the workplace. We’re told, “You need to be professional! Don’t show you’re overwhelmed or sad or mad,” or anything else negative because that may be perceived as unprofessional. But you even asking this question is courageously demonstrating that vulnerability is important in all aspects of our lives, including the workplace, and these feelings should be normalized so we can support each other. So props to you for starting the conversation.

Now, how do you actually deal with how you’re feeling and take care of yourself? Unfortunately, as you probably already know, there isn’t a playbook for this, but I have a few suggestions:

First and foremost, do what you need to take care of yourself. If that means taking a mental health day, half-day, hour, whatever, do it! Give yourself space and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you’re feeling. This will likely entail having a conversation with your supervisor who is hopefully understanding and supportive. If they aren’t, well, that’s a whole other conversation, but at the end of the day, you won’t be very productive at work if you aren’t taking care of yourself, so decide what makes sense for you.

Second, taking a day for yourself here and there can be great, but you also want to think about what you’re doing regularly for self-care. Establish a routine. Are you able to take some time every day for yourself to, for example, exercise, read a book, or have a glass of wine? None of these things sound appealing? No problem. Do what works for you! There are so many things you can’t control, so focus on the tangible things you do have control over that you can remove (e.g. social media) or build into (e.g. meditation) your routine and add these to your calendar. This can be hard with competing priorities from work and personal life, but still important. Maybe you’ve never been a big calendar person, that’s OK too. What works for me may not work for you. Try tapping into a friend to hold you accountable to this new routine with the occasional strongly worded text message or two. Motivation can be hard. Trust me, I know! Find what works for you and make it a priority.

Finally, having a community that you can turn to and be open with is important. Try asking a colleague how they are REALLY feeling about things and perhaps that will lead to a larger conversation in which you can be vulnerable. Or, if work isn’t the place for this, then look towards family, friends, and other forums. Try seeing if there are any local organizations you may want to join. For example, I have colleagues in the San Francisco Bay Area that love BAYPIE (Bay Area Young Professionals in International Education). It’s local, intimate, and they have lots of happy hours and events for international educators to connect. You also don’t have to be in the San Francisco area to join considering everything is remote now! Of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t put in a plug for The Global Leadership League which is my go to for building a sense of community and connection with colleagues in International Education. The Mentor Circles and Career Connections Program come to mind as solid opportunities to share with colleagues how you’re really feeling and, more importantly, to gain perspective. Wherever you turn, just know there are people out there who are feeling similar to you and are looking for the same kind of support you are. Take time for yourself, establish a routine that prioritizes you, and be vulnerable as you seek to connect with others.

I said this could be a long conversation but will stop myself here. If we were sitting together we’d be ordering our second drink! Keep me with you in spirit as you do some of these things to ease your feelings of being overwhelmed. Remember, it’s normal to occasionally have days like these. Own it and do what you need to in order to bring yourself back to center.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Overwhelmed and Unmotivated? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

I'm underpaid compared to my colleagues

Thu, 25 Jul 2019 05:30:14 GMT

Dear Sophia,

As most of us know, we do not work in the field of higher education to become rich but we should still be able to make a livable wage. I have recently found out I am the third-lowest-paid director on my campus and one of the only ones that is required to be accessible 24/7 for emergencies abroad and at home with our international students.

I do understand there are differences in positions and that some directors have been in their roles longer than me. Taking this into account as well as researching salary data put out by the Chronicle of Higher Education, I feel I am being underpaid. My university is located in an expensive area, and in my estimation I should be making approximately $10,000 more than what I am currently making.

I have brought this to the attention of my supervisor - the fact that I am one of the lowest paid directors and that salaries should take into account the cost of living of the area - and she told me she would look into it but not to expect anything because we have budget issues. I was also told it would be better if I had another job offer in hand because it would give me more leverage.

Given all of this, what should I do in order to ensure I can make a livable wage for all of the work I am being asked to do?

Sincerely,

Exhausted on the East Coast

Dear Exhausted,

Have you approached your Human Resources department on this matter? I know at many institutions, if you ask an HR manager, they can do an audit of comparable positions and salaries in the area to see if your pay is on par with your colleagues’. If your salary is way off from this data, you should have additional negotiating leverage.

The idea of having another job offer in hand does have some merit. Another job offer motivates institutions in ways that a traditional raise request does not. I know that a job search is a lot of additional work (when do you have time time given what is already requested of you?), but it is good experience and allows you to reflect on what you love and don’t love about your current position.

In the meantime, consider how you can improve your negotiation skills. The League offers webinars and other resources to help members build new skills in this arena. I would encourage you to continue to strategically build your case about salary negotiation with your supervisor. Be sure to always frame it within the context of the level of responsibility you have as a Director and provide data (such as salary comparisons) that may bolster your case.

Confidentially yours,

How do I advance when I've hit a dead end?

Wed, 29 May 2019 05:31:28 GMT

Image by Pixource from Pixabay

Dear Sophia,

I think I’ve hit a glass ceiling at my university. After advancing through positions in my office in the last ten years, I now understand that since I don’t have a Ph.D, and do not have faculty status, there is no ‘next step’ for me. My family is not mobile, there are very limited international education positions in my geographic region, and most of these are below my current level. I love my job and university, and I want to continue to advance through my career. Is there anything I can do to position myself and my office differently? Do I have to leave international education? Give up my aspirations?

Sincerely,

Bouncing Off the Glass Ceiling

Dear Bouncing,

My first response is a question back to you: How do you define advancement? What are you seeking? Different people see advancement differently: a higher title, a larger salary, more authority, different responsibility, more visibility, new skills, new knowledge. Once you have decided what is important to you, you will be better able to identify what skills, credentials, and experience you need to get there.

Given that you cannot consider opportunities outside your geographic area and love your job, I have three suggestions.

Since it sounds like you have outgrown your current position, consider whether it could be expanded or a new one created that would give you greater challenges while also providing needed support for the office and university. Present a solution to an issue the office is facing; propose a new initiative and offer to lead it; find a challenge that no one else is addressing. This type of ambition can open the door to discussions with your supervisor about growth opportunities.

If a new job within your office is not in the cards, take a look at what positions are open at your institution; sometimes a move - lateral or otherwise - within your institution can give you the kind of advancement you seek. You can gain new perspectives on international education and facilitate new connections between your new area and international education. Or scope out areas of the university that are trying to expand their international activities and talk with them about creating a position focused on internationalization efforts where your skills and experience could be especially helpful.

If you are seeking new skills and knowledge, look outside your work. Take some classes or get involved with professional associations and other organizations. Or volunteer for committees on campus that will offer you not only new perspectives but also potentially bring an international education perspective to new areas.

Keep in mind that many workplace skills translate into new environments. In new fields, you may gain new skills that are considered valuable further down in your career path. If you decide to transition to a new field, you may have the opportunity to transition back into IE at a later juncture in your career.

Consider reading for new perspectives to guide your decision-making for what is next in your career pathway. A few recommendations: Radical Candor by Kim Scott, What Motivates Me: Put Your Passions To Work by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, or Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans.

And don’t forget to take advantage of the League’s two other safe spaces for encouragement - Career Coaches and Mentor Circles - for more support while you make this transition. You can also attend a League webinar to increase your skill set in areas such as negotiation.

Growth often comes through sacrifice, so I encourage you to consider what sacrifices you are willing and able to make, then go for it!

Confidentially yours,

I think my boss is living in the past

Sat, 27 Apr 2019 05:32:11 GMT

Dear Sophia,

My boss (who is male) treats the women of our office different than our male colleagues. It ranges in scope from not taking our ideas as seriously to asking only the female employees to clean out the fridge.

What can I do to call him out professionally and help change his behavior?

Sincerely,

Seething in Silence

Dear Seething,

The frustration you’re feeling is not surprising, and yours is sadly not an uncommon situation. One of your first actions, if you don’t already know, is to learn about your institution’s culture on EEO and TItle IX in the workplace (what policies are in place, what reporting is required, what resources are available to you and your office, along with any available training for managers and employees).

Once you understand your institutional culture, several ideas come to mind for dealing with your situation - some “official” and some less so. The order you apply them will depend on your office dynamics and the policies and resources available to you.

You can request a confidential meeting with HR. Any documentation you have of specific incidents and dates - from a factual and observational perspective, leaving out assumptions and emotions - will probably be helpful. HR should have processes for dealing with inappropriate behavior of all sorts.

Outside of HR and official processes, addressing what seems to be blatant sexism - especially from your boss with the added power dynamic - can be especially difficult because its visibility makes it appear to be widely accepted. Any discomfort by those witnessing it can remain hidden, further encouraging the inappropriate behavior. Or if the offender is unaware of his (or her) sexism, the opportunity is missed to address it. At best, you hope that your boss’s behavior and apparent biases are subconscious.

One less official approach is to work with your colleagues to amplify each other’s ideas. This approach was used perhaps most famously in the Obama White House and has since been used in numerous offices. When one of you voices an idea, and it is ignored or downplayed, someone else can voice agreement with the idea, attributing it to the person who originally mentioned it and adding supporting thoughts.

The second less official approach involves speaking up - either in the actual meeting or in a private conversation with your boss - to say, for instance, that the same people have been asked to clean out the fridge in the past, and you’d like to institute a system so that these types of tasks can be shared more equally among staff. You can offer to create a schedule or ask the group to do so. Depending on the mood of the room, you could try lightheartedly pointing out that it’s been all women doing these tasks. Such a discussion could potentially open the door for more direct conversations in the future.

Confidentially yours,

It's time for a structural change

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 05:33:26 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I am our campus Senior International Officer, managing study abroad, international student services, partnership development, and campus internationalization. I hold a Director title (and salary); however, have much more (and growing) responsibility (as well as 24/7 on-call duties) than peers in my division.

How can I navigate a promotion request to accurately reflect my level of responsibility and duties? Such a promotion would break with a current structure that has existed for a very long time and I fear would not be received well despite my good work. However, I see this as an opportunity to step up, grow, show my value, and ask for a fair title and salary that reflects my role. I would love some feedback and direction.

Sincerely,

Onward and Upward

Dear Onward and Upward,

You find yourself in a difficult but unfortunately not unusual position in international education. The more data you have to support your request, the better off you’ll be. If you have actual data showing that your salary and title are not in line with others on your campus with similar responsibility, experience, and background, that’s a great start! In addition, you can provide data on comparable roles at peer institutions.

The history and culture of your campus community may also be an obstacle. Try to align your request with other strategic priorities. Consider what dynamics may be at play if they promote you. Will your promotion be viewed as problematic to others at a similar level? Is campus leadership concerned about additional staff requests once you’re promoted? Are they unaware of how the office structure is hindering your institution’s ability to be effective in advancing international education?

An external reviewer may also be an option to make recommendations on staffing, structure, and operations; their report could make a difference to your administration.

At the end of the day, be sure to value your own worth, Taking the time to advocate for yourself and to improve your negotiation skills will be a critical component to a successful career. Check out The League’s webinar on negotiation skills to get ready: webinar recording.

Confidentially yours,

I can't do anything right?!

Mon, 25 Feb 2019 05:34:14 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I've been at my job - being incrementally promoted - for eight years. My boss just left, and the organization has promoted someone to be interim while they do a search.

My interim boss, who has for the last 4 years been very supportive of me and become a friend, seems to have become someone else. She finds fault with everything I do, has given me negative reviews (despite my outstanding reviews for the previous 7 years), and seems to change the rules from one weekly meeting to another so I never know what is being used to measure my success from one week to another. She focuses on my weaknesses, and I'm starting to doubt my own abilities.

I love this job and the other people I work with, but I'm not sure I can stay here without damaging my career. My spouse wants me to quit and look for a new job, but I hate to leave this job that I love! What do I do?!

Sincerely,

Betrayed and Confused

Dear Betrayed and Confused,

First off, do not let one person’s challenge of your abilities negate years of positive feedback. I am reminded of a motivational quote, “Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." You were clearly valuable to the organization for a long time, and you can be proud of the contributions you made! That said, there are always ways we can grow, and if you can identify some weaknesses, those could be areas that you can look at ways to improve or work around them.

As for looking for a new job, consider your two choices. You can meet with your new supervisor, describe your passion for your current role, and inquire about clear steps for moving forward. It never hurts to advocate for yourself. Alternatively, you can also make the choice to start applying for other positions. While it can be difficult to leave a position and colleagues that you love, it is also challenging to stay in a role with a supervisor who does not value your skills and abilities. Sometimes moving on can be a new adventure and opportunity to grow both professionally and personally. Those beloved co-workers will become valuable colleagues in your next position!

If you decide to move on, remember that the League also launched a Coaching Hub, so consider signing up to be matched with an experience Career Coach in our field to guide you.

Confidentially yours,

One of my staff told HR I'm difficult to work with

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 05:35:27 GMT

Dear Sophia,

I supervise a small staff. Recently one of my employees asked for a day off that I could not approve, since it was one of our busiest days of the year (a pre-departure orientation for over 100 students).

This employee did not like the decision to not approve her requested day. She served her notice to HR, telling them I had gone back on my word over this day off after originally saying yes. I had never said yes, and the pre-departure orientation had been on her calendar since the beginning of the semester. She also told HR that I was difficult to work with and this was another factor to her leaving.

Is there a different way I should have handled this situation? How should I move forward in my communications with the HR department without it turning into a "she said, she said" situation and still protecting myself?

Sincerely,

Frustrated in the Four Corners

Dear Frustrated in the Four Corners,

This is definitely a frustrating situation; hopefully you can view it as a learning experience. Regarding the HR department, demonstrate that you are open to feedback and welcome any additional comments that might have been reported, or not. Additionally, many HR departments have learning and development programs that you may benefit from. Consider inquiring about bringing the program to your office, such as work-style assessments and how that provides insights into your work style and your team.

Consider a new system that provides clear, explicit guidelines about vacation ‘black-out’ dates. Meet with your staff and discuss office priorities together so that everyone is on the same page. Something that might seem obvious to you (not taking time off on the busiest day of the year), as an experienced professional, may not be as clear to a young individual at the start of their career. Perhaps it is worth including such messaging during the on-boarding of new staff for the future.

Confidentially yours,

I told my director he was being sexist

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 05:34:50 GMT

Dear Sophia,

Recently I have been part of an interview process to fill an advisor position in our Education Abroad Office. As the Assistant Director, I have had to lead the entire process of reviewing resumes, selecting candidates, and organizing the interviews (which includes inviting individuals from other offices to assist in the second round). It is a significant amount of extra work which my supervisor, the Director, asked me to do.

After the final round of interviews, my supervisor and I sat down to review our top choices. One my top candidates was a male, who did not appear on my supervisor’s list, and when I asked his reasoning he said the male candidate was “overqualified for the position.” However, in comparing my top (male) candidate with his top (female) candidate, the two had exactly the same qualifications in terms of number of years in the field, degrees, international background, and other relevant areas. I believe that my supervisor’s decision to eliminate the male candidate due to overqualification was a sexist one, and I let that be known.

How could I have better handled this situation? Following this interaction I am noticing other behaviors that include burdening me with additional work and undermining me when it is time to make a decision or take credit for something good. How can I work with my supervisor moving forward?

Sincerely,

Irritated in Illinois

Dear Irritated in Illinois,

This is indeed a difficult situation. Given that our field is dominated by women, one way you might have been able to advocate for the male candidate further is to express your desire to diversify your staff and encourage more males to study abroad through role model advising. You might also have asked for clarification of more specifics on where your supervisor saw differences between your top two candidates. It is also wise to navigate the conversation with calm and to resist being defensive.

Possibly more concerning is the shift in your supervisor’s behavior after this interaction. Have you reached out to your Human Resource Department for advice or support? I know it can be difficult to trust the anonymity of these difficult conversations with internal colleagues, but HR is trained in this type of coaching for managing up or managing down. There are also online resources that provide guidance on these issues, if you are not comfortable talking with your HR department. The League also launched a Coaching Hub, so consider signing up to be matched with an experienced Career Coach in our field to guide you.

Alternatively, if you feel comfortable approaching your supervisor, you might want to address the behavior directly. Approach the conversation with confidence and direct communication. This might make you feel empowered and allow your supervisor to face an uncomfortable situation directly.

Confidentially yours,